IMDb > "Two and a Half Men" (2003)
"Two and a Half Men"
Quicklinks
Top Links
trailers and videosfull cast and crewtriviaofficial sitesmemorable quotes
Overview
main detailscombined detailsfull cast and crewcompany creditsepisode listepisodes castepisode ratings... by rating... by votestv schedule
Awards & Reviews
user commentsexternal reviewsnewsgroup reviewsawardsuser ratingsrecommendationsmessage board
Plot & Quotes
plot summaryplot keywordsAmazon.com summarymemorable quotes
Fun Stuff
triviagoofssoundtrack listingcrazy creditsalternate versionsmovie connectionsFAQ
Other Info
merchandising linksbox office/businessrelease datesfilming locationstechnical specslaserdisc detailsDVD detailsliterature listingsNewsDesk
Promotional
taglines trailers and videos posters photo gallery
External Links
showtimesofficial sitesmiscellaneousphotographssound clipsvideo clips

"Two and a Half Men" (2003) More at IMDbPro »

Episodes Rated by IMDb User Rating

Rated Episodes

# Episode User
Rating		 User
Votes

7.8  Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 8.9 29
6.19  The Two Finger Rule 8.6 82
7.1  818-jklpuzo 8.4 102
1.12  Camel Filters and Pheremones 8.3 255
6.9  The Mooch at the Boo 8.3 76
1.0  Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot 8.2 69
6.21  Above Exalted Cyclops 8.2 65
1.1  Pilot 8.2 169
3.6  Hi, Mr. Horned One 8.2 131
5.17  Fish in a Drawer 8.1 142
6.1  Taterhead Is Our Love Child 8.1 106
6.20  Hello, I am Alan Cousteau 8.1 57
6.24  Baseball Was Better with Steroids 8.1 84
5.8  Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 8.0 96
4.24  Prostitutes and Gelato 8.0 98
2.23  Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 8.0 118
4.11  Walnuts and Demerol 8.0 98
6.15  I'd Like to Start with the Cat 8.0 46
6.3  Damn You, Eggs Benedict 8.0 74
3.7  Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 7.9 101
3.12  That Special Tug 7.9 80
6.16  She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 7.9 62
1.7  If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake 7.9 117
3.16  Ergo, the Booty Call 7.9 91
4.6  Apologies for the Frivolity 7.9 105
5.16  Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty 7.9 83
2.10  The Salmon Under My Sweater 7.9 86
6.14  David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 7.8 59
3.11  Santa's Village of the Damned 7.8 92
1.23  Just Like Buffalo 7.8 95
3.8  That Voodoo That I Do Do 7.8 90
4.23  Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin 7.8 101
5.10  Kinda Like Necrophilia 7.8 87
2.13  Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow 7.8 76
2.24  Does This Smell Funny to You 7.8 90
3.14  Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 7.8 85
2.17  Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! 7.8 92
4.19  Smooth as a Ken Doll 7.7 98
1.10  Merry Thanksgiving 7.7 117
1.4  If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 7.7 121
5.13  The Soil is Moist 7.7 75
5.4  City of Great Racks 7.7 68
6.2  Pie Hole, Herb 7.7 70
2.12  A Lung Full of Alan 7.7 91
6.7  Best H.O. Money Can Buy 7.7 53
1.21  No Sniffing, No Wowing 7.7 103
6.23  Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 7.7 55
5.12  A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 7.7 73
4.15  My Damn Stalker 7.7 100
2.3  A Bag Full of Jawea 7.7 90
3.24  That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 7.7 89
1.24  Can You Feel My Finger 7.7 88
5.15  Rough Night in Hump Junction 7.7 77
5.19  Waiting for the Right Snapper 7.7 66
3.9  Madame and Her Special Friend 7.7 86
1.2  Big Flappy Bastards 7.6 125
1.18  An Old Flame with a New Wick 7.6 132
2.8  Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 7.6 75
6.12  Thank God for Scoliosis 7.6 76
5.11  Meander to Your Dander 7.6 77
6.6  It's Always Nazi Week 7.6 66
2.1  Back Off Mary Poppins 7.6 168
5.9  Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 7.6 72
2.16  Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 7.6 75
1.19  I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 7.6 112
1.5  The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 7.6 114
4.7  Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 7.6 82
5.1  Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 7.6 82
5.14  Winky-Dink Time 7.5 85
2.11  Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 7.5 96
3.3  Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 7.5 73
2.9  Yes, Monsignor 7.5 89
7.2  Whipped Unto the Third Generation 7.5 55
6.11  The Devil's Lube 7.5 67
2.6  The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 7.5 77
5.6  Help Daddy Find His Toenail 7.5 75
4.17  I Merely Slept with a Commie 7.5 82
6.17  The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 7.5 40
5.5  Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 7.5 65
6.22  Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 7.5 52
6.18  My Son's Enormous Head 7.5 56
3.5  We Called It Mr. Pinky 7.5 69
4.20  Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 7.5 96
3.20  Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 7.5 101
1.9  Phase One, Complete 7.5 102
3.2  Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 7.5 77
1.17  Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 7.5 86
-  Jake Comes of Age 7.5 57
6.10  He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 7.5 52
7.7  Untainted by Filth 7.5 48
3.15  My Tongue Is Meat 7.5 73
6.8  Pinocchio's Mouth 7.5 45
1.16  That Was Saliva, Alan 7.4 97
2.5  Bad News from the Clinic 7.4 90
2.14  Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 7.4 68
5.3  Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 7.4 70
2.15  Smell the Umbrella Stand 7.4 68
1.13  Sarah Like Puny Alan 7.4 93
1.8  Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful 7.4 97
7.4  Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 7.4 50
3.17  The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 7.4 71
4.16  Young People Have Phlegm Too 7.4 90
4.2  Who's Vod Kanockers 7.4 96
3.4  Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 7.4 73
4.18  It Never Rains in Hooterville 7.4 89
7.3  Mmm, Fish. Yum. 7.4 57
2.4  Go Get Mommy's Bra 7.4 81
1.22  My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 7.4 90
4.21  Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 7.4 80
1.14  I Can't Afford Hyenas 7.4 97
4.10  Kissing Abraham Lincoln 7.4 83
2.21  A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 7.4 78
4.13  Don't Worry, Speed Racer 7.4 85
3.13  Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 7.4 75
5.7  The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 7.4 69
3.1  Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 7.3 71
4.22  Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 7.3 75
2.22  That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 7.3 71
1.3  Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 7.3 118
3.18  The Spit-Covered Cobbler 7.3 71
7.6  Give Me Your Thumb 7.3 46
2.19  A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 7.3 74
4.8  Release the Dogs 7.3 78
2.18  It Was Mame, Mom 7.3 95
1.15  Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 7.3 105
6.4  The Flavin' and the Mavin' 7.3 77
4.14  That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 7.3 82
2.2  Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 7.3 90
3.19  Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 7.3 82
3.10  Something Salted and Twisted 7.3 66
3.21  And the Plot Moistens 7.3 81
2.20  I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 7.3 78
5.2  Media Room Slash Dungeon 7.2 77
6.13  I Think You Offended Don 7.2 52
4.3  The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 7.2 88
4.1  Working for Caligula 7.2 94
3.22  Just Once with Aunt Sophie 7.2 69
1.6  Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 7.2 105
4.5  A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 7.2 93
4.9  Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 7.2 84
3.23  Arguments for the Quickie 7.1 79
5.18  If My Hole Could Talk 7.1 93
4.4  A Pot Smoking Monkey 7.1 83
2.7  A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 7.1 81
6.5  A Jock Strap in Hell 7.1 71
4.12  Castrating Sheep in Montana 7.1 76
1.11  Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 7.1 99
-  The Moustache Attachment 7.0 7
1.20  Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 7.0 89
7.5  For the Sake of the Child 6.9 50

Unrated Episodes

# Episode
7.9  Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair