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"Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service" (2003) More at IMDbPro »

Semper Fidelis (aka Semper Fi) means "Always Faithful" in Latin - It's the Motto Of the US Marine Corps and a common greeting between Marines, whether currently active, in the reserves or discharged. Once a Marine always a Marine, there are no "former" or "ex" Marines.

Periodically Gibbs mentions a rule. In Season 3 episode, Switch, Gibbs tells Ziva there are about 50 rules.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skj_ri1o4aY&feature=player_embedded: Video link provided by Nevermnd8.

Note: Some listed rules aren't on the video and some rules have the same number.

Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together. From Episode: Yankee White (Season 1)

Rule #1: Never screw (over) your partner. From Episode: Blowback (Season 4)

Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene. From Episode: Yankee White (Season 1)

Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check. From Episode: Yankee White (Season 1)

Rule #3: Never be unreachable. From Episode: Deception (Season 3)

Rule #4: If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best. From Episode: Blowback (Season 4)

Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie. From Episode: Reveille (Season 1)

Rule #8: Never take anything for granted. From Episode: Probie (Season 3)

Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife. From Episode: One Shot, One Kill (Season 1), Missing (Season 1) and Probie (Season 3)

Rule #11: When the job is done, walk away. From Episode: Semper Fidelis (Season 6)

Rule #12: Never date a coworker. From Episode: Enigma (Season 1), Minimum Security (Season 1) and Aliyah (Season 6)

Rule #13: Never, ever involve lawyers. From Episode: Collateral Damage (Season 6)

Rule #15: Always work as a team. From Episode: Leap of Faith (Season 5)

Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. From Episode: Silver War (Season 3)

Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation. From Episode: Smoked (Season 4)

Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live. From Episode: Forced Entry (Season 2)

Rule #38: Your case. Your lead. From Episode: Bounce (Season 6)

Another one of Gibbs' rules which is used more often than the others, but without a number, is "Never say you're sorry, it's a sign of weakness."

DiNozzo's Rules:

Rule #1: I don't sit on the sidelines when my people are in trouble. From Episode: Shalom (Season 4)

Gibbs has been married 4 times, divorced 3 times. His first wife Shannon, and their daughter Kelly were killed while he was on a deployment. He managed to keep this marriage a secret from his friends and colleagues for many years.

Wife # 1 = Shannon. Gibbs was married to Shannon from 1982 to 1991, when she was killed along with their daughter, Kelly (age 7-8).

Wife #2 (Ex-#1) = No biographical information on her yet - including her name It may be Ex #1 who lives in the hotel from Left For Dead from Season 1.

Wife #3 (Ex-#2) = Diane. Also the ex-wife of Gibbs "frenemy" FBI Agent Tobias Fornell. Marriage to Fornell happened after the marriage to Gibbs (he warned Tobias NOT to marry her because she would leave him too and clean out his bank account when she left). Fornell and Diane have a daughter - Emily.

Wife #4 (Ex-#3) = Stephanie Bronyn Flynn. Introduced to Gibbs by Ducky. In the episode, The Ex File, she asked Director Shepard if she and Gibbs ever "had a thing" prior to Stephanie's marriage to Gibbs. Since, Gibbs and Jenny were together around 1998 or 1999, that means that Stephanie and Gibbs were married sometime post-1999 but before the Series Premiere of the show in 2003.

We have seen Diane from a distance in Escaped and met Stephanie in The Ex-File when she was a witness/suspect in the murder of a friend's husband.

Note: Since this document was 1st introduced in Judgment Day: Part 2 - just before it was shredded it was established by Secretary of the Navy (in the show) Phillip Davenport to be "fiction." - episode: Aliyah.

(this part was noticed by Sally_X ) AWARDED GOOD CONDUCT MEDAL AND TWO LETTERS OF COMMENDATION FROM TRAINING WING COMMANDER....... (something she couldn't make out....)

Here is the rest:

RAISED IN NEW YORK CITY. MOTHER (mother was misspelled on the doc) WAS A MEMBER OF NEW YORK CITY BOARD OF EDUCATION. FATHER WAS REAL ESTATE PLANNER ATTENDED HARVARD UNIVERSITY. ADMITTED TO HARVARD UNIVERSITY LAW SCHOOL BUT LEFT AFTER ONE YEAR TO ENTER OFFICER CANDIDATE SCHOOL. GRADUATED FROM ANNAPOLIS JUNE 1991.

DIRECTOR VANCE HIT THE DECK PLATES RUNNING AND HASN'T SLOWED DOWN. AN IMPRESSIVE SELF-STARTER WITH IMMEASURABLE INITIATIVE AND WORK ETHIC, HE COMPLETES ALL ASSIGNMENTS WITH PEERLESS PROFESSIONALISM. HIS "TAKE CHARGE" SPIRIT HAS BEEN INFECTIOUS, AS HIS CO-WORKERS HAVE BEEN IMPRESSED WITH HIS ENTHUSIASM AS WELL AS HIS ADMINISTRATIVE EFFICIENCY, AN INNOVATOR IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

HAND PICKED AS THE JOINT SERVICES COLOR GUARD COORDINATOR COORDINATES THE UNITED STATES EMBASSY JOINT SERVICE COLOR GUARD, A SIGNIFICANT RESPONSIBILITY WITH TREMENDOUS VISIBILITY. SINCE TAKING ON THIS ARDUOUS, TIME-CONSUMING ASSIGNMENT LT ISAACS HAS COORDINATED EIGHT ALL SERVICE COLOR GUARD TEAMS, INCLUDING ONE FOR A FOREIGN HEAD OF STATE.

THE JOINT SERVICE COLOR GUARD HAS CONSISTENTLY RECEIVED THE HIGHEST PRAISE FROM EVENT ORGANIZERS AND COMMUNITY LEADERS FOR HIS SUPERB APPEARANCE AND HIGH LEVEL OF PROFESSIONALISM.

DIRECTOR VANCE IS INTELLIGENT, TALENTED AND DEDICATED ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY AND SELFLESSLY GIVES OF OFF-DUTY TIME. HE DEMONSTRATES AN ADMIRABLE WORK ETHIC, SUPREME COMPETENCE, AND TREMENDOUS COMMON SENSE. HE HAS UNLIMITED POTENTIAL IN HIS RATING AND THE MARINES. A RISING STAR AND TRUE TEAM MEMBER

DIRECTOR VANCE HAS MY STRONGEST RECOMMENDATION FOR ANY PROMOTION FOR WHICH HE MAY QUALIFY.

I Will try to keep up to date (adding from older episodes and from episodes yet to air). This is a group effort from everyone on the Message board. If you notice we've missed something post a message to the board and I'll add it.

Most have been made by Tony but a few were made by others on "Team Gibbs"

Movie/TV followed by Episode(s) if known.

*** 2001: A Space Odyssey - Angel of Death

*** 28 Days Later - Witch Hunt

*** 400 Blows - Sharif Returns

*** A Bad Day at Black Rock - Truth or Consequences

*** Beach Blanket Bingo - Seadog

*** A Christmas Carol - Silent Night

*** A Few Good Men - In The Zone/Good Cop, Bad Cop/Tribes/Capitol Offense

*** A Fish Called Wanda - SWAK

*** A Night at the Opera - Heartland

*** A Room With a View - Dog Tags

*** Against All Odds - Judgment Day

*** Air Force One - Yankee White

*** Airwolf (TV) - Dead Man Talking/Blowback

*** Alien - SWAK

*** Aliens - Chimera

*** Alien Resurrection - Good Cop, Bad Cop

*** All The Presidents Men - Bounce

*** An Officer and a Gentleman - Capitol Offense

*** Annie Hall - South By Southwest

*** Austin Powers - Honor Code

*** Back To The Future -Lost And Found

*** Banacek (TV) - Deception

*** Baretta (TV) Power Down

*** Batman - Deliverance

*** Beaches - Sharif Returns

*** Before Sunset - Caged

*** Before The Sun Goes Down

*** Beverly Hillbillies (TV)

*** Beverly Hills, 90210/90210 - Truth or Consequences

*** Big Fat Liar - Requiem

*** Bill Nye the Science Guy - Model Behavior

*** Blade Runner - Cloak

*** Blazing Saddles - South By Southwest

*** Blue Velvet - Hide and Seek

*** Body Heat - Boxed In and Leap of Faith

*** Bonnie and Clyde - Power Down

*** Bounce - The Curse

*** Boy in the Plastic Bubble - SWAK

*** Breakfast Club ?????

*** Brokeback Mountain - Iced

*** Bullets over Broadway - Tribes

*** Bullitt - Dead Reckoning

*** Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - Chimera and Tribes

*** Catch Me If You Can - Capitol Offense

*** Chinatown - Judgment Day/South By Southwest

*** Chronicles of Narnia

*** Cocoon - Family

*** Colombo (TV) - Power Down

*** Convoy - Cloak

*** Conan The Barbarian - Corporal Punishment

*** Cool Hand Luke - Frame-Up

*** Coyote Ugly - Angel of Death

*** CSI (TV) - Yankee White/Witch Hunt

*** Cujo - Dog Tags

*** D.O.A - Dead Man Walking

*** Dances With Wolves - Hiatus Part 2

*** Darkman - Dead and Unburied

*** Dawn of the Dead - Witch Hunt

*** Davey Crockett (TV) - Power Down

*** Deliverance - Suspicion/Ravenous

*** Desperate Housewives - Road Kill

*** Dirty Dancing - Family

*** Double Indemnity - Tribes

*** Doubt ?????

*** Dr Who (TV) - Power Down

*** Dragnet (TV) - Power Down

*** Dracula - Left For Dead and Angel of Death

*** Eraser - Identity Crisis

*** Fast Times at Ridgemont High - Tribes

*** Fatal Attraction - Frame Up and Love and War

*** Ferris Bueller's Day Off

*** Fight Club - Road Kill

*** Finding Nemo - Twisted Sister

*** Flashdance - Identity Crisis

*** Flesh and Blood - SWAK

*** Forrest Hump - Switch (yes Hump not Gump)

*** Foul Play - Agent Afloat

*** Friday the 13th - Conspiracy Theory/Murder 2.0

*** Fright Night - Murder 2.0

*** Friends (TV)- Escaped

*** Full Metal Jacket - Tribes

*** Gladiator - ?????

*** Gold Rush - Chimera

*** Good Fellas - Road Kill

*** Good Morning Vietnam - In The Zone

*** The Great Santini - Hide and Seek

*** Grizzly Man - Witch Hunt

*** Hackers - Love and War

*** Halloween Series - A Weak Link/Murder 2.0

*** Hannah and her Sisters - Caged

*** Hawaii-5-0 (TV) - Seadog and Capitol Offense (Book em Dano)

*** Heat - Semper Fidelis

*** High Noon - Hometown Hero

*** I Am Sam - ?????

*** I Love Lucy - Family Secrets

*** In the Line of Fire

*** Inside Man - ?????

*** Inspector Gadget - Family

*** Invaders From Mars - Vanished

*** Invasion of the Body Snatchers - Cloak

*** It's a Wonderful Life - Silent Night

*** Johnny Quest - Tribes

*** Jeopardy (TV) - Chimera

*** Jerry Maguire - ?????

*** Joe vs. The Volcano - Knockout

*** John Carpenter's 'The Thing'

*** K-9 - The Inside Man

*** Kill Bill - In The Zone

*** Kojak (TV) - Seadog/Power Down

*** Laura - Eye For an Eye

*** Laverne and Shirley (TV) - Knockout

*** Lord of the Rings - Friends and Lovers

*** Lord of War - Power Down

*** Magnum, PI (TV) - Switch/Lost and Found/Frame-Up

*** Maltese Falcon - Minimum Security

*** March of the Penguins - Agent Afloat

*** Mask - UnSealed

*** Maury Povich (talk show) - Road Kill

*** McGyver (TV) - Power Down

*** Mission Impossible - Cloak

*** Modern Times - Good Cop, Bad Cop

*** Moonstruck - Knockout

*** Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Switch

*** Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (TV) - Code of Conduct

*** Mr. Wizard (TV) - Model Behavior

*** Night of the Living Dead - ?????

*** Nightmare on Elm Street - Murder 2.0

*** No Way Out - Leap of Faith

*** North by Northwest - Dagger/South By Southwest

*** One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - Tribes/Toxic

*** Ordinary People - Nine Lives

*** Ozzie and Harriet (TV) - The Good Wives Club

*** Pacific Heights - Dead and Unburied

*** Patton - Tribes

*** Payback - Reveille

*** Paycheck - Tribes

*** Peter Pan - Tribes/Good Cop, Bad Cop

*** Pettycoat Junction (TV) - Dog Tags

*** Pirates of the Caribbean - Enigma

*** Planes, Trains and Automobiles - Suspicion

*** Planet of the Apes - Endgame

*** Play It Again, Sam - Road Kill

*** Pocahontas - Road Kill

*** Poltergeist - Love and War

*** Popeye - Deliverance

*** Psycho - Eye Spy/Murder 2.0

*** Pulp Fiction - Switch

*** Raiders of the Lost Ark - Dagger

*** Rambo - Power Down

*** Red Sonja - Corporal Punishment

*** Return of the Living Dead - Kill Ari: Part II

*** Rocky - Nine Lives

*** Romancing The Stone - Agent Afloat

*** Rosemary's Baby - Murder 2.0/South By Southwest

*** Rumblefish - Deliverance

*** Run Silent, Run Deep - Chimera

*** Sands of Iwo Jima - Call of Silence

*** Saturday Night Fever - Road Kill

*** Scarface - Witch Hunt

*** Scream - ?????

*** Sea of Love - Recoil

*** Seems Like Old Times - Agent Afloat

*** Se7en - Murder 2.0

*** Seven Years In Tibet - Hide and Seek

*** Shane - Minimum Security

*** She Wore a Yellow Ribbon - Hiatus: Part I

*** Silence of the Lambs - The Good Wives Club and Dog Tags

*** Sixteen Candles - Ravenous

*** Sleepless in Seattle - The Good Samaritan/A Weak Link

*** Smokey and the Bandit - Cloak

*** Sound Of Music - Hiatus: Part 1

*** Sneakers - Love and War

*** Speed - Bait

*** St. Elsewhere (TV) - Blowback

*** Stakeout - An Eye for an Eye/Stakeout

*** Stalag 17 - Hiatus: Part 2

*** Stand By Me - Hide and Seek

*** Star Trek (TV) - Eye Spy/Witch Hunt

*** Star Wars Series - The Voyeurs Web/Dog Tags/Deliverance

*** Strangers in The Night - Suspicion

*** Strangers on a Train - The Inside Man

*** Superman - The Inside Man

*** Swamp Thing - ?????

*** Tales From The Crypt - ?????

*** Taxi Driver - Angel of Death

*** Teen Wolf - Good Cop, Bad Cop

*** Terminator - ?????

*** Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Smoked

*** Thunderball - Hiatus: Part 2/Murder 2.0

*** The A-Team (TV) - Requiem

*** The Apartment - Left For Dead

*** The Believers - ?????

*** The Blue Lagoon - Agent Afloat/Internal Affairs

*** The Bourne Trilogy - About Face/Power Down

*** The Boy In The Plastic Bubble - SWAK

*** The Burning Bed - Bounce

*** The Chronicles of Narnia - Shalom

*** The Court Jester - /Grace Period and Switch

*** The Crying Game - Dead Man Talking

*** The Curse - Bounce

*** The Defiant Ones - Chained

*** The Dukes of Hazard (TV) - Heartland

*** The X-Files (TV) - The Truth is Out There

*** The Fly (Original and remake) - Witch Hunt

*** The Fugitive - Multiple Episodes (UnSealed/Corporal Punishment

*** The Godfather Movies - The Bone Yard

*** The Gold Rush - Chimera

*** The Great Santini - Hide and Seek

*** The Greatest Show on Earth - Corporal Punishment

*** The Hunt For Red October - Chimera

*** The Hustler - Hide and Seek

*** The Karate Kid - Knockout

*** The Killing Fields - An Eye For An Eye

*** The Last Supper - In The Dark

*** The Lion King - Hide and Seek

*** The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (TV) - The Meat Puzzle

*** The Matrix - Road Kill

*** The Muppets Take Manhattan - Smoked

*** The Peacemaker - Kill Ari: Part II

*** The Princess Bride - Identity Crisis

*** The Recruit - Truth or Consequences

*** The Scent of a Woman - South By Southwest

*** The Seven Year Itch - Witch Hunt (Abby as Marilyn)

*** The Serpent and the Rainbow - ?????

*** The Shawshank Redemption - Bounce

*** The Shining - Bloodbath

*** The Simpsons (TV) - Trojan Horse

*** The Sunshine Boys - Identity Crisis

*** The Thing - Witch Hunt

*** The Third Man - Probie

*** The Three Stooges - Bounce

*** The Transporter - Switch

*** The Untouchables - Knockout

*** The Usual Suspects - Hiatus: Part 1

*** The Wizard of Oz - See No Evil and Ravenous

*** They Came to Cordura - Hometown Hero

*** Three Days of Condor - Eye Spy/Tribes

*** Thunderball - Murder 2.0

*** Titanic (Abby) - Agent Afloat

*** To The Shores of Iwo Jima - Call of Silence

*** Top Gun - Reveille and Jeopardy

*** Toma (TV) - Power Down

*** Trains, Planes and Automobiles - Smoked

*** True Lies - Truth or Consequences

*** Turner and Hooch - The Inside Man

*** Under Siege - Chimera

*** Victor/Victoria - Dead Man Talking

*** Voodoo Island - ?????

*** War Games - Cloak/Love and War

*** Weekend at Bernie's Part I & Part II - Deception/Judgment Day

*** Weird Science - Love and War

*** White Heat - Chimera

*** White Nights - Endgame

*** Willard - Chimera

*** Young Frankenstein - Nine Lives

*** Zero-Hour - Lost and Found

Will add episodes as we find them and any new McNicknames or regular nicknames that pop up.

McNicknames:

*** *** Daniel McBoone - Hide and Seek

*** *** Major McTom - Hide and Seek

*** McBarfbag - Chimera

*** McCheat - About Face

*** McChittyChat - Legend: Part 1

*** McContrary - Legend: Part 1

*** McCool

*** McCranky - Caged

*** McCready - Truth or Consequences

*** McDetail - Deliverance

*** McDid - Nine Lives

*** McDigit - Endgame

*** McDoing - Nine Lives

*** McEgghead - Broken Bird

*** McFlabby

*** McFlower Power

*** McFlubber

*** McFreaky

*** McG

*** McGarnagle - Broken Bird

*** McGeek - Agent Afloat

*** McGeekle

*** McGeeko

*** McGenius - Legend: Part 2

*** McGiggle - Corporal Punishment

*** McGnome - Collateral Damage

*** McGoblin

*** McGoo - Corporal Punishment/Last Man Standing/Agent Afloat/Legend: Parts 1 & 2/Endgame

*** McGoogle

*** McGoon

*** McGPS - Dagger

*** McGruff

*** McGullible

*** McKilljoy - Collateral Damage

*** McLawyer

*** McLonelyHearts - Endgame

*** McLover

*** McLovin - Deliverance

*** McMotherboard - Deliverance

*** McMuse

*** McNerd - Corporal Punishment

*** McNopoly

*** McOz

*** McPinkerton

*** McPower

*** McProbie

*** McProbius - Stakeout/Legend: Part 1

*** McProof - Reunion

*** McQueen - The Inside Man

*** McRanger Rick - Hide and Seek

*** McRomeo - Reunion

*** McRuff

*** McScout

*** McShipmate - Last Man Standing

*** McSidekick - Reunion

*** McSnapper - Legend: Part 1

*** McSneaky - Hide and Seek

*** McSniper - The Inside Man

*** McSoftie - Caged

*** McStarsky

*** McStud - Endgame

*** McTardy - Dead Reckoning

*** McTim

*** McTimex

*** McToma - Power Down

*** McTracker

*** McVideo - Reunion

*** McWriter

*** McZero - Internal Affairs

***************

Non-McNicknames:

*** Aqua Smurf - Dead Man Walking

*** Captain Hook

*** Charlie Brown

*** Chucklehead

*** Dead Agent Walking - Twisted Sister

*** Elf Lord - Love and War/Dead Reckoning

*** Gore Vidal

*** Green Acres

*** Hemingway - Smoked

*** Hopkins - Toxic

*** Inspector Gadget - Family

*** Michael Jackson - Sub Rosa

*** Neander-Boy - Doppelganger

*** Pickle-head

*** Prince of Darkness - Knockout

*** Probie - Almost every episode!

*** Probie Pan

*** Probie-San

*** Probie-Wan Kenobi - About Face

*** Probalicious - Endgame

*** Scout Boy - Hide and Seek

*** Self-Helpless - Endgame

*** Special Agent Good-wrench

*** Sponge Bob

*** Tiny Tim - Silent Night

Other Nicknames:

*** Ziver - multiple episoded

*** DanOzzo - Power Down -- "Book em, DanOzzo"

To write to any of the cast (and/or anyone else with the production) of NCIS use the following address

"NCIS"

Att: (Cast member/Crew member name)

26030 Avenue Hall

Box 4

Valencia, CA 91355

1. Kill Ari: Part 2: ***** (OUR VERY 1st ZIVA-ISM!)

Ziva: You are a broken TAPE, Gibbs.

Tony: Record. A broken record.

2. Silver War: ****

Ziva: "You might want to do something about your hair... it's sticking up like a PORCUSWINE... oh, wrong words... a PORCU... PIG?" "The little animal with the little spiky tips!?"

McGee: "Porcupine?"

Ziva: "Porcupine! Thank you, Special Agent McGee."

Ziva: "It appears he didn't know... I feel like a DONKEY'S "BUTT"

McGee: "Donkey's butt? " Tony: "I think she meant Horse's A$$, McGee.

3. Switch: ****

Tony: I don't know. Look at the guy. He's such a...

Ziva: PIMP

Tony and McGee *in unison*: Wimp.

Ziva: Once he saw us at Norfolk, he must have taken a KITE.

Tony: Hike. The expression is taking a hike.

McGee: She may have had it confused with go fly a kite.

4. Voyeur's Web: ****

Ziva: I've been meaning to ask you about that, Tony. How does a fifteen year old boy go about meeting a COQUETTE?

McGee in the elevator: She means Rockette, boss.

5. Honor Code: ****

Ziva: ... The boy has remarkable memory. There's also someone here from SOCIAL SECURITY to pick him up.

Gibbs: Services, Ziva. Social Security is for older people.

Ziva: "...The man is spic and SPAM"

Tony: "The saying is spic and span. Spam is lunch meat."

Ziva: "Oh. What exactly is span, then?"

Tony: "Span is I'll get back to you on that."

6. Under Covers: ****

Ziva: Look who's calling the POT black.

Tony: Kettle. The pot is calling the kettle black.

Ziva: It calms my mind. Forces me to stay focused at the JOB IN MY HAND.

Tony: The terms job at hand.

7. Frame-Up: ****

Tony: Where is she?

Ziva: Shes probably PASSED ON BY NOW.

McGee: The term is passed out.

8. Probie: ****

Ziva: Halligan's on the GOAT. Oh, no! Not goat. SHEEP?

McGee: Lam?

Ziva: That's it.

Tony: Hes on the lam. There's no B in that, by the way.

9. Boxed In: ****

Ziva: I think we've just been SCREWED IN HERE, Tony.

Tony: The term is bolted.

Tony: I'm not getting any reception. How about you?

Ziva: I'm BRALESS.

Tony: I noticed that earlier. But on your phone they're 'bars'.

Ziva: That's quaint. We'd be like the HOMOS in those old movies.

Tony: Hobos, not homos.

10. Deception: ****

Ziva: Don't worry, Abby. Some times its hard to see the JUNGLE THROUGH THE FERNS. (Forest for the trees.)

Ziva: Does a bear SIT in the woods?

Ross Logan: Are you the crackerjack team on this job?

Tony: She's Israeli.

Ziva: Look, I know I got the bear thing right.



11. Light Sleeper: ****

Ziva: I've learned from Gibbs that in certain cases you can attract far more BEES with honey

Tony: Flies.

12. Head Case: ****

Ziva: If the GLUE STICKS?

McGee: Shoe fits.

13. Ravenous: ****

Ziva: Do you mind if I grab a BAT NAP?

Ziva: That is not bad, Tony. Landis asked me out tonight. I said 'no'. I don't want him to think I'm SLEAZY.

Tony: That term is easy.

Ziva: Great! Hell be like finding a PIN in a haystack.

Tony: A needle in a haystack.

14. Bait: ****

Ziva: "... cameras through the vents here and here. Both were taped shut. Cody was covering his PLATES.

Tony: Bases.

Ziva: She asked if you had the CALZONES for this, yes?

Tony: Cojones.

15. Iced: ****

Ziva: I think Tony is jerking your BRAIN.

McGee: Chain? Jerking my chain?

Ziva: So now your image is HOMOPUBIC?

Tony: The term is homophobic and no. Prejudice of any kind is an ugly thing.

16. Untouchable: ****

Ziva: This woman is a total TURD! A geek, yes?

Tony: The term is nerd.

17. Bloodbath: ****

Ziva: And your lawyer is going to try and use her bad taste in men to IMPREGNATE her credibility.

Tony: Impugn, Ziva!

18. Jeopardy: ****

Ziva: Well, you're the one who said 'no' to the muzzle, Tony. I wanted to shut his POT hole two hours ago.

Brian Dempsy: It's pie hole. And by the way, we went through the Arbys drive through. No such thing as a RIDE-through. How long have you lived here anyway?

Ziva: Everyone's avoiding me! Do they think I'm going to lose control, just enter the building and massacre everyone? I mean, I'm being treated like a LEOPARD.

Ducky: I believe the phrase is 'like a leper'.

19. Hiatus: Part 1: ****

Ziva: Ducky, DRIP it!

Ducky: Do you mean: Drop it or Zip it?

Ziva: Ah, American idioms drive me up the HALL.

Ducky: Well, actually... never mind.

Ziva: I've asked Tel Aviv if Captain Mahir is a BLIMP on their radar.

Tony: Blip.

20. Hiatus: Part 2: ****

Ziva: Okay. But you're TYING MY FEET.

Tony: Hands.

Ziva: Those, too.

Shepard: ...when Pinpin handed him Galib's passport it was good enough...

Ziva: To pass the MUSTARD.

McGee: Muster, not mustard.

1. Escaped: ****

Tony: Well, they say a way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Meals on Wheels. Looks like Paulson was a volunteer.

Ziva: He volunteered to put meals on wheels?

Tony: They bring food to the elderly, Ziva.

2. Dead and Unburied: ****

Rick: Whats going on? Hey! Hey! Stop pointing the gun at my wife!

Ziva: She tried to RAT on us.

Tony: She means rabbit.

Ziva: Rabbit, yes!

3. Witch Hunt: ****

Gibbs: Marital problems?

Ziva: Well, according to someone called SCUTTLE BUTT, he caught his wife cheating on him.

Gibbs: Scuttlebutt's not a person, Ziva. Scuttlebutt is what Marines call gossip.

Ziva: ... And do you know what I did? I allowed myself to feel sorry for her. Ah! And do you know what that makes me?

Ducky: Human.

Ziva: A CHIMP!

Jimmy: I think she means chump, Doctor.

4. Once A Hero: ****

Ziva: You look RUN OVER.

Tony: The term is rundown. I do?

5. Smoked: ****

Ziva: You need to cut the man some SLACKS, Ducky.

Tony: I agree. Except the term is slack.

6. Blowback: ****

Tony: Pirated copy.

Ziva: That is what I said.

Tony: No, you said PIRATES copy. A pirate is a person like 'Captain Jack Sparrow'. A pirated copy.

Ziva: This is going to be like looking for a needle in a NEEDLE stack.

Tony: Needle in a haystack.

Ziva: Tagged their luggage? Oh, that's when Jenny had you UNDER COVERS.

Tony: Undercover. Not under covers.

7. Friends and Lovers: ****

Tony: Its almost unfair interrogating junkies.

Ziva: Its like shooting fish in a POND.

John Carson: I um I think you mean a barrel.

Ziva: Why haven't you BREASTED them?

Tony: She means 'busted'.

8. Iceman: ****

Ziva: Did she give you the cold ELBOW?

Tony: Shoulder. And no! She has very warm shoulders to me.

9. Cover Story: ****

Ziva: McGee, you look like you've seen a GOAT.

McGee: Huh? Oh, ghost. Seen a ghost.

Ziva: He's CHOMPING out McGee.

Tony: Chewing.

10. Trojan Horse: ****

Ziva: Hey, I will make it worth your WOW.

Tony: 'While,' not 'wow.'

1. Bury Your Dead: ****

McGee: Yes I was here all night.

Ziva: FRAGGING the computers?

McGee: Defraging.

2. The Ex-File: ****

Ziva: Quite the WATERFALL.

Tony: She means windfall.

3. Identity Crisis: ****

Tony: I'm not ready to start taking tips on this from you Probie.

McGee: Tony I think its time you get back on that horse.

Ziva: Are you getting a pony?

Tony: Its an adage . Ziva: I'm not familiar with that breed.

Tony: Well yeah they are quite rare. Sort of a cross between a Pegasus and a unicorn.

4. Leap of Faith: ****

Ziva: I am having the same problem as McGee had with Capt. Walsh. The Pentagon is ROCK WALLING me.

Tony: She means stonewalling. Little quirk she has.

5. Chimera: ****

Tony: Oh, I get it Boss. This is a black ship.

Ziva: Black sheep?

Tony: No they don't exist.

Ziva: Oh, I've seen black sheep.

Tony: No I said black ship. Not sheep. Clearly the US Navy is still intent on pulling the wool over the eyes of the American people, Sir.

6. Designated Target: ****

Tony: How long have you been in this country?

Ziva: Why?

Tony: Well you never heard of gypsy cabs, you don't use contractions, assimilate already.

Ziva: What are CONTRAPTIONS?

Tony: Never mind.

7. Corporal Punishment: ****

McGee: Maybe Ziva will do it.

Ziva: Maybe Ziva will do what?

Tony: I've been working on my six pack, you know abs.

Ziva: You and Abby have been drinking?

Tony: No, abdominals. No more beer gut for me.

8. Stakeout: ****

Ziva: You're kidding me? How long will it take you to get here?

Tony: Oh, about an hour.

Ziva: Your goose is FRIED!

Tony: Cooked. And no it's not. Only a minute late.

Ziva: The JACK she is with is gross.

Tony: You mean John?

Ziva: You know him?

Tony: Oh my God.

9. Dog Tags: ****

Ziva: Did you wake up IN THE WRONG BED this morning?

Tony: If your question is: Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

10, Internal Affairs: ****

Ziva: I would hate to be misunderstood.

Fornell: Does that happen often?

Ziva: Once in a BLUE LAGOON.

11. In The Zone: ****

Ziva: Well it would not be the first time a murder tried to THROW US UP that way.

McGee: Off. Throw us off.

12. Judgment Day: ****

Ziva: Is that why we're here? So you can GOOGLE the girls?

Tony:"Ogle."

1. Agent Afloat: ****

Ziva: Crime scene skills are getting a bit DUSTY.

McGee: Rusty.

2. Capitol Offense: ****

Ziva: You are such a control GEEK.

Tony: Freak.

McGee: Maybe he's bluffing.

Tony: Un-un. It was on the nose.

Ziva: Whose nose?

Tony: On the money. Bulls eye. Right as rain. You were doing better before you went back to Israel. You've reverted.

3. Nine Lives: ****

Ziva: What is it that is bothering you so much Tony?

Tony: Do I look troubled?

McGee: As a matter of fact...

Ziva: Are you getting so hot and BOTHERSOME because uh, you think I may be having a little fun?

Ziva: No wonder he's keeping his cards so close to his BREASTS. (Neither Tim or Tony touch this one with a ten foot pole)

4. Cloak: ****

McGee: You know what they say about a watched pot, Tony

Ziva: CALLS THE KETTLE BLACK.

McGee: Never boils

5. Road Kill: ****

Ziva: How is that for old school SLOTHING?

Tony: Sleuthing. Having fun yet?

6. Deliverance: ****

Ziva: We canvassed the area. No one is talking. There is a SMURF war...

Tony: Turf war.

7. South By Southwest: ****

Ziva: You did not change when your books made you PLUSH.

McGee: Flush.

8. Dead Reckoning: ****

Ziva: ...his fingers in many EYES.

Tony: Pies...

9. Toxic: ****

Ziva: She claimed Heller was not there but I SMELLED FISH. What?!

McGee: Fishy...something fishy.

10. Legend: Part 1: *****

Ziva: EAGER PLATYPUS instead of eager beaver.

11. Semper Fidelis: *****

BUG ON THE WALL instead of fly on the wall.

Note: Will add dialogue when I have the chance to re-watch episodes. * * * *

1. Inside Man ****

SALAMI instead of bologna

2. Good Cop, Bad Cop *****

"Do you catch my GRIFT?"

Tony: "Drift".

Outlaws and In-Laws: *****

Sit on the baby instead of Babysit

Endgame ****

Tony: ...but I am DiNozzo. hear me roar.

Ziva: "Like an elephant?"

They began during Season 2. Episode 4. Lt. Jane Doe.

*** Season 1:

*N.C.I.S Creating Season One

* N.C.I.S Building the Team

* N.C.I.S Defining the Look

**Commentaries on:

'Yankee White' - Donald P. Bellisario

***Season 2:

* Investigating Season 2

* What's New In Season 2

* The Real N.C.I.S

* Lab Tour With Pauley Perrette.

** Commentaries on:

'The Bone Yard' - Chas Floyd Johnson

'Twilight' - Pauley Perrette and Michael Weatherly

***Season 3:

* The Real N.C.I.S Declassified

* Hit the Head Montage

* The Women of N.C.I.S

* N.C.I.S Season of Change

* The Round Table

** Commentaries on:

'Kill Ari: Part 1'

'Frame-Up' - Pauley Perrette and Michael Weatherly

'Boxed In' - Avery Drewe and David Bellisario

'Bloodbath' - Pauley Perrette and Michael Weatherly



***Season 4:

* Cast Round Tables (Parts 1 and 2)

* Ducky's World

* Behind the Set: The Production of N.C.I.S

* Dressed to Kill: Dressing the Sets of N.C.I.S

* Prop Master

* Picture Perfect: The Looks of N.C.I.S

* Season of Secrets

** Commentaries on:

'Twisted Sister' - Sean Murray and Terrence O'Hara

'Dead Man Walking' - Sean Murray and Cote de Pablo

'Skeletons' - Brian Dietzen and David McCallum

'Grace Period' - Michael Weatherly

'Cover Story' - Michael Weatherly and Pauley Perrette

'Angel of Death' - Donald P. Bellisario (my warning: something went wrong with the audio during the commentary and it switched back to the episode dialog for a long period of time and then switches back to the commentary)

***Season 5:

* Requiem Revisited

* N.C.I.S Season 5: Stem to Stern

* The Dressing Room: The costumes and Wardrobe of N.C.I.S

* N.C.I.S on Location

* From Pauley to Abby: Hairspray, Lipstick and Tattoos

** Commentaries on:

'Bury Your Dead' - Michael Weatherly and Patricia H. O'Hara (Michael's mom)

'Requiem' - Mark Harmon and Shane Brennan

'Dog Tags' - David McCallum and Brian Dietzen

'Recoil' - Cote de Pablo and James Whitmore, Jr.



***Season 6:

* Bodies of Work - Actor Brian Dietzen gives a tour of WM Creations. The company that created the "Bodies" used on NCIS

* "FEAR" - a DVD exclusive - an acoustic version of Pauley Perrette's song "Fear".

* Starting with a Bang - A look at the season's opening arc.

* Horsin Around - Featurette based on 'South By Southwest' Episode.

* Season Six: Crusin Along - Cast and Crew reflect on som of the major events of the season.

* Six Degrees of Conversation: The cast talks about Season Six.

** Commentaries on:

* 'Broken Bird' - David McCallum and James Whitmore, Jr.

* 'Bounce' - Michael Weatherly

* 'Toxic' - Pauley Perrette and Sean Murray