Memorable quotes for
Love Stinks (1999) More at IMDbPro »

Chelsea: All I ever wanted to do was spend my life loving you, you disgusting sack of shit.
Seth: If that's all you wanted, then why did you hire the sleaziest lawyer in town, you pathologically deluded, morally bankrupt, in-denial, self-esteem-deficient bitch on wheels?
Chelsea: I am NOT in denial.

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Chelsea: I really like this guy. I think that Seth could be the one.
Holly: Are you serious? Does he feel the same way?
Chelsea: Please, he's a man. He has no idea how he's feeling.

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Holly: We're going to go over strategy. Now, remember, Chelsea, it took me three breakups, seven ultimatums, and God knows how many not-so-thinly veiled threats before Larry coughed up this ring.
Chelsea: Oooh. Okay, whatever it takes, I'm gonna marry that man.

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Larry Garnett: It's like a hooker taking a trick to court to get him to pay.
Holly: Don't call my best friend a hooker.
Larry Garnett: That's right, a hooker tells you the price up front.

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Seth: You've put me off women. I'm gay now. And not just a little gay-full on, Liberace gay.

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Seth: Nice job, you fucked up date night.

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Seth: Drop the probe and step away from my ass

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Seth: I'll sue your ass for damages for damaging my ass

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Seth: Back to Hell demon. Back to Hell.

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Seth: But we agreed to $100,000. We shook on it. We had sex on it.
Chelsea: Hate sex.

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[on phone answering machine]
Seth: If you have a message for me leave it after the beep and if you have a message for Chelsea then you REALLY HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF WHY.

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Seth: [in the shower] Oh my God! My hair is falling out!
Chelsea: You know stress will do that to ya!
Seth: Holy shit! It's really falling out!
[hair begins to fall out rapidly]
Seth: Oh my God! AHHH! OH! OOOHH!
[steps out of shower and looks into mirror]
Seth: AHHHHHHHHHHH! What did you do to me?
Chelsea: I didn't do anything! You must have used my hair remover instead of your conditioner
Seth: Noo! YOU PUT SOME IN THERE TO FUCK WITH ME!
Chelsea: No, I didn't! I swear!
Seth: Ooooohhhhh you are the fuckin' devil! THE DEVIL!

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Chelsea: Can I make it up to you?
Seth: What did you have in mind?
Chelsea: Back rub, blow-job, breakfast in bed.
Seth: The three B's! It has a chance at working.

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