Memorable quotes for
Gone Fishin' (1997) More at IMDbPro »

Billy "Catch" Pooler: Don't forget. The canary sings, but the eagle flies.

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Billy "Catch" Pooler: Be the one you want to catch.

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Joe Waters: That car meant a lot to me, Gus. I get memories of that car I can't even remember.

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Dekker: You guys married?
Joe, Gus: Yeah.
Dekker: Children?
Joe Waters: No, they're our age.

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Gus Green: This is gonna be a 10!
Joe Waters: Ten plus!
Joe Waters, Gus Green: Borderline 'leven!

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Joe Waters: [After the waiter pours him a sample of the wine] That's it? Hey Kirk, I'm not a little kid you know, I can drink a full glass.

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Gus Green: So after we paid for the Ranger Two Fifty C, the hotel room, fixing the Barracuda, food, clothes, ride home, we have a grand total of $42.00 profit.

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Joe Waters: Got the boat?
Gus Green: Check.
Joe Waters: Coupons?
Gus Green: Check.
Joe Waters: Beer? Gear? Dramamine?
Gus Green: Check. Check. Check.
Joe Waters: Insert Billy "Catch" Pooler tape.
Gus Green: Check that too.
Joe Waters, Gus Green: We're Goin' Fishin'!

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Joe Waters: Hey, Gus, that was just like a ride.

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Gus Green: Just think, Joe, a hundred years ago this is how we'd get our boat to the water.
Joe Waters: Yeah.
Gus Green: Yeah and a 1,000 years ago, we wouldn't have paved roads.
Joe Waters: Oh yeah, they'd be full of rocks and everything.
Gus Green: And the boats would be heavier.
Joe Waters: Yeah, now we got the latest technology wood.
Gus Green: Yeah. And just think, a million years ago, we wouldn't have wheels for our trailer!
Joe Waters: We wouldn't even have the freakin' trailer, right Gus?
Gus Green: Yeah.
Joe Waters: And if it was that long ago, our brains would be smaller and we wouldn't think of anything like this.

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Joe Waters: Hey, Gus, let's take a swim.
Gus Green: It's cold, Joe.
Joe Waters: Yeah. Hey, what about those guys from the Polar Bear Club at Coney Island. They go in the water in freezing tempratures.
Gus Green: Oh yeah, I heard about that. They say it's good for your heart and everything. You wanna try?
Joe Waters: I'll do it if you do it.
Gus Green: I'll do it if you do it.

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Dekker Massey: I musta spent about 25 years behind a desk.
Gus Green: That's a long time to be sitting.

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Joe Waters: They got some nerve calling this first prize. I wonder what the losers got. Six months in Sing Sing?

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Joe Waters: You see, the other night we were watching Jeopardy! and...
Rita: You guys watch Jeopardy?
Joe Waters: Oh yeah! If they ever take away science, I'll kill 'em.
Gus Green: I'll kill 'em if they take away history.

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Kirk: If you see them, you tell them that I love them very much and I want to see them again and that they are very nice, very attractive... boys.

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Joe Waters: I'm sorry I don't have a photographic memory, Gus!
Gus Green: You don't even have a memory!
Joe Waters: Wanna talk about memories? You recall setting a hotel room on fire?

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Joe Waters: Let's just go home.
Gus Green: No, we're going to find the money.
Joe Waters: No, I'll tell you where we're going. We are going -
[Car engine dies]
Joe, Gus: Nowhere.

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[Wrestling with an alligator]
Joe Waters: Spin him around, Gus, I'll kick'em in the nuts.
Gus Green: It's a she, Joe! She ain't got no nuts.

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[repeated line]
Joe Waters: Holy smokes!

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Gus Green: Joe, what are the odds of you getting hit by lightning again?
Joe Waters: Hey Gus, what were the odds the first time I got hit? And what were the odds the second time I got hit?

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Joe Waters: Hey Gus, remember that movie Deliverance? Sounds like those guys.
Gus Green: Joe, I don't wanna squeal like a pig!
Joe Waters: I don't wanna squeal like a pig either!

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Gus Green: It could be worse.
Joe Waters: Hey Gus, please don't say that. 'Cause it can't get any worse. I'm so sick of everytime we get in trouble or something goes bad, we think of, like, worse situations just so we can say, "This ain't so bad, it could be worse". Gus, the truth is, it can't get any worse.
[Thunder clashes and lightning flashes]
Joe Waters: It just got worse, Gus.

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Joe Waters: We're gonna be working every weekend for the rest of our lives, Gus.
Gus Green: How come?
Joe Waters: Because that boat cost more than our house. Well, at least we'll be home on time.
Gus Green: Wrong. We're gonna be home a day early. And that's worse than getting home on time. Besides, that freaking knife is somewhere at the bottom of Tiger Tail Lagoon.
Joe Waters: In any case, we're going home.
[Tire blows out]
Joe, Gus: Flat.
Joe Waters: [Gus remains still, yet Joe sticks his arm in front of him] I got it, Gus.

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Joe Waters: We're going to be working every weekend for the rest of our lives.
Gus Green: Why?
Joe Waters: Because that boat cost more than my whole house.

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Phil Beasly: Yeah, that boat's sad. But do you know what's sadder? Follow me.
Joe, Gus: [they do]
Joe Waters: [singing] Down in the Ever-Glades!
[he hits a switch which causes a boat to fall in the water and start sinking]

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Dekker: I was wondering if you still honored these?
[shows him pamphlet]
Outside Hotel Guy: What the hell is it with these dang coupons?
Dekker: Why? Someone else come in here with them?
Outside Hotel Guy: Yep. Two guys.
Dekker: Which guys? Did they tell you where they were going?
Outside Hotel Guy: They wanted to know where they could buy a boat.
Dekker: Did you suggest a place?
Outside Hotel Guy: Yes.
Dekker: Which place?
Outside Hotel Guy: Phil Beasley's.

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Dekker: Look, these two guys are a couple of disaster areas. They just bought a boat and destroyed it in less than an hour. Now it might take me a couple of days to find them. But I *will* find them. And when I do, I'll know where the money is.

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Phil Beasly: Now think of the words easy payments.
Joe, Gus: Easy payments.
Phil Beasly: They're just 810 little payments of $39.95. You don't like it in 30 days which you will, we'll take it back. No questions asked. So if you need anything, I mean anything just say out loud the words, "Hey, Phil!"
Phil Beasly: [leaves]
Joe, Gus: [happily] Hey, Phil!

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Joe, Gus: [come flying through the beach where Phil Beasley is giving a speech]
Phil Beasly: [freaking] That's my boat! That's my boat!
[the boat finally comes to a rest, but two other boats fall down]
Joe, Gus: [weakly] Hey – ah, Phil. We changed our minds. We don't want the boat after all.
Joe Waters: Hey, look, Phil.
[shows him the radio wires]
Joe Waters: All this stuff broke, you gotta get it fixed.
Gus Green: Yeah.
Joe, Gus: [takes off] Thanks, Phil.

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Gus Green: [looking at stolen valuables in suitcase] That's a lot of money.
Joe Waters: Yeah, and all we gotta do is turn it in.
Dekker: [sneaks up] Oh, really.
[holds gun at them]
Dekker: Move away from it.
Joe, Gus: [they move slowly/scared]
Dekker: [goes up to the suitcase and picks up a wad of money and feels it]

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Dekker: So, you two, can just sit here for Thanksgiving and think about it.
Joe, Gus: [register horrified looks]
Dekker: [cruel] Oh! What? Did I ruin your plans for the Thanksgiving holiday? Oh, I'm so sorry.

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Cookie Green: Now, look… If you're not back by Thanksgiving dinner, we have agreed to ah…
Donna Waters: Kill you.
Gus Green: [weakly] Ah, okay.
Joe Waters: [weakly] Yeah. Don't worry.
Gus Green: We'll be back by then.

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Gus Green: Hey, who cares about the knife? We have a map to two and a half million dollars in jewels! We're gonna be rich!
Joe Waters: Hey wait, wait, wait, Gus! GUS! "Who cares about the reward" is right, Gus. Who cares about the reward? Let's just take the two and a half million in jewels. We're millionaires. Millionaires, Gus. We're rich.
Gus Green: Joe, he stole that from 43 women.
Joe Waters: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Gus Green: But just think, alot of women means alot of rewards. It's alot of rewards!
Joe Waters: It's more than one reward. We're rich!

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Joe Waters: What's wrong with us anyway, Gus? We got great families and kids, we work hard, we go to church, all we wanna do is go fishing, we don't bother nobody. Why does everything gotta go wrong around us?
Gus Green: 'Cause we're lucky, Joe.
Joe Waters: We're lucky?
Gus Green: Yeah, you said it all, Joe. We got great kids, our wives love us, we work hard and go to church, and all we wanna do is go fishing.
Joe Waters: Yeah you're right. I never thought of it like that,

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Joe Waters: [fire engines zoom by, sirens blaring] Must be a fire or something.

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