Don Tibbles:
Today it's Wheaties boxes. Tomorrow it's video games and action figures. The sky's the limit!
Coach Bombay:
Haven't you guys been training in the off-season?
Lester Averman:
You know, I knew we forgot something.
Russ Tyler:
Hey yo, team U.S.A., what you gonna do today, a million jumpin' jacks?
Portman:
Man this kid's crazier than me. Just forget him!
[
Jesse comes to the front]
Jesse:
Man I'm gettin' sick of you!
Russ Tyler:
And I'm gettin' sick of seein' the U.S.A. represented by a bunch of whining babies!
Jesse:
Well, too bad you can't back up that mouth!
Lester Averman:
Here with us, Greg Goldberg, goaltender for Team USA. Greg, what's it gonna take to beat these feisty Icelanders, tonight?
Goldberg:
I think it will take a supreme individual effort, by me, Greg Goldberg.
Coach Bombay:
Hey. How are you feeling today, Goldberg?
Goldberg:
Lean and mean!
Goldberg:
Have no fear, Goldberg is here. Hey man there was nothin' on that. How 'bout a real shot? Hey Paison, meatballs are slowin' ya down? Hey uhh... how do you say in Italiano, wussy?
Dwayne:
Where I come from we treat ladies with respect!
Connie:
Thank you, Dwayne, but I'm no lady. I'M A DUCK!
Lester Averman:
Aw, I smell something.
Lester Averman, Goldberg, Jesse, Charlie, Adam:
Goldberg!
Goldberg:
It wasn't me!
Dean:
No, it was me!
[
Facing off in practice]
Dwayne:
Great day for hockey, ain't it?
Jesse:
Sure is, cowboy.
[
Seeing Dwayne for the first time]
Dwayne:
Yee-haw! How's everybody? Y'all ready to play some puck?
Goldberg:
Hey, look, it's Hop-Along Gretzky!
[
Dean Portman takes the ice]
Coach Bombay:
That guy's a teenager?
Don Tibbles:
Uh, yeah, hormones.
Coach Bombay:
He's a goon!
Wolf Stansson:
What happened to freedom of speech? Isn't this America?
Charlie:
Hey, you got a girl in the stands?
Adam:
Scouts, man. Lookit 'em.
Charlie:
Don't worry about scouts, Adam. Just do your best.
Coach Bombay:
Ah, we've got a game against Italy, so I'll talk to you right after we win!
Fulton:
Lil' tuneage to go to sleep by?
Dean:
Yeah.
[
Fulton turns on loud rock music]
Dean:
Sweet dreams, dude!
Coach Bombay:
What it is, it's a loafer. And we'll call it the Air-Bombay Loafer; "For kids who want to coach!"
Lester Averman:
Hey, is that a tattoo? Is it real?
Dean:
Get away from me.
Lester Averman:
Yes sir.
Russ Tyler:
Hey... Goldberg! I bet if that puck was a cheeseburger, you'd stop it! Hahaha!
Coach Bombay:
Hans couldn't make it?
Jan:
Now don't get me started with that strudel head! He went back to the old country. He wanted to see our mother. She loved him more, you know!
[
on the Iceland players]
Lester Averman:
They're bigger! They're stronger! They're faster! They've got more facial hair!
[
talking about Luis Mendoza]
Connie Moreau:
Good lookin' skater.
Les Averman:
Very good lookin'. What do you think, Guy?
Guy Germaine:
Shut up, Averman.
Coach Bombay:
I've had a lot of distractions since I've been here in L.A.
[
holds up a cardboard cutout of himself]
Coach Bombay:
This is a distraction.
[
the Ducks snigger. Bombay lights a match and throws it into a barrel]
Coach Bombay:
This is a fire-in-a-barrel.
[
places the cutout in the barrel]
Coach Bombay:
This is a distraction-in-a-fire-in-a-barrel. Any questions?
[
at the Junior Goodwill Games, when Team USA is on the Podium]
Wolf Stansson:
Team USA's going down, that's where you're going.
[
Stanson and Bombay are plaing three-bar]
Coach Bombay:
One more post and you go home crying. By the way Stanson, you owe me a beachball!
[
Bombay is eating ice cream with the Iceland trainer]
Coach Bombay:
I thought Iceland was covered with ice.
María:
No, it's very green!
Coach Bombay:
I thought GREENLAND was green!
María:
Greenland is covered with ice, and Iceland is very nice!
Dwayne:
Take it easy, dont listen to him.
Ken Wu:
Besides that guy will kill you.
Goldberg:
Yea well just hold me back and act like im gonna kill him.
Les Averman:
You guys wanna ease up a little bit? Just thought I'd ask
Adam:
[
Sanderson slashes Adam] Aaaaaaah!
[
the Ducks scream at the referee for a penalty call]
Coach Bombay:
Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Hey ref, why don't you call something for crying out loud? He almost took his arm off!
Referee at Games:
[
sends Sanderson to the penalty box] That'll be two minutes.
Olalf Sanderson:
Two minutes well worth it.
Ken Wu:
Get in the box, you big goon!
Adam:
I woke up, and the pain was gone.
Fulton:
[
after viewing Russ's signature shot] What the heck kinda shot was that?
Russ Tyler:
Ah, you like that, huh?
[
cleans his stick]
Fulton:
[
still impressed] Yeah!
Russ Tyler:
That's my knuckle-puck. It's hard to be accurate but it drives goalies crazy!
Julie Gaffney:
Somebody better watch their hands.
Michele MacKay:
And when the wind blows hard and the sky is black - Ducks fly together!
[
Team USA is having an outside class with Michelle McKay]
Michele MacKay:
Ancient Greece was the beginning of Western civilization. You see in Greece, they didn't have professional sports or Wheaties boxes, so the athletes competed for another reason. Anybody?
Goldberg:
Philophles?
[
after the final Iceland vs. USA game]
Wolf Stansson:
Gunnar... you lost it for me.
Gunnar Stahl:
[
in disgust] You lost it for yourself!
[
turning to his teammates]
Gunnar Stahl:
Let's shake their hands!
[
benches clear... Gunnar approaches Charlie]
Gunnar Stahl:
Good work, Captain Duck!
Charlie:
Thanks, Gunnar!
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