Never Too Young to Die (1986)

User Rating:

3.8/10   

Director:

Gil Bettman

Writers:

Steven Paul (story) and
Stuart Paul (story) ...

Release Date:

June 1986 (USA)

Genre:

Action | Drama | Adventure

Tagline:

Stargrove: the new American hero.

Plot:

A secret agent is murdered, and his son--a high school gymnast--teams up with a spy to catch the man who killed him.

Plot Keywords:

Spy | Drag | Beautiful Woman | Sex | Gay Interest

Cast

John Stamos	...	Lance Stargrove
Vanity	...	Danja Deering
Gene Simmons	...	Carruthers / Velvet Von Ragner
George Lazenby	...	Drew Stargrove
Peter Kwong	...	Cliff
Ed Brock	...	Pyramid
John Anderson	...	Arliss
Robert Englund	...	Riley
Tara Buckman	...	Sacrificed Punkette
Curtis Taylor	...	Barton
Jon Greene	...	Coach Madsen
Tim Colceri	...	Grady
John Miranda	...	Mr. Wilder
Patrick M. Wright	...	Exploding Biker (as Patrick Wright)
Gary Kasper	...	Wrestler (as Gary F. Kasper)

Runtime:

Norway:90 min | USA:92 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color (Metrocolor)

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Certification:

Iceland:16 | South Korea:15 | Finland:(Banned) | Norway:18 | USA:R

Trivia:

The costume Gene Simmons wears for his nightclub act is actually the same costume that actress Lynda Carter wore for her television special _Encore! (1980)_, in which she tried to look like a member of the band KISS while singing "I Was Made for Loving You".

Quotes:

Velvet Von Ragnar: [regarding the formula with which they'll poison Los Angeles's water supply, unless the Governor of California meets their demands] ... Is the concentration LETHAL?
Riley: I'd say WORSE!

Lance (John Stamos) takes on the sheman Ragnar (Gene Simmons) in an 80´s environment

This is the absolute worst movies I have ever seen. The plot sucks, the actors suck, and the script sucks. However this is what makes the movie absolutely excellent. The sheman Ragnar (Gene Simmons) has an evil plan to pollute a citydam by putting toxic in it. A device developed by the father of Lance (George Lazenby - ex 007) is needed and his evil rocker horde fights John Stamos over it. Fantastic ending sequence when Lance (John Stamos) forces the metal nail of Ragnar into the shemans neck followed by a 100 m drop into the dam.

John Stamos is a perfect cast with his shoulder-long Prince Valiant hair and so is Gene Simmons with his extravagant transvestite acting. I laughed through the hole thing. Candidate for the title worst production ever.