Guru, the Mad Monk (1970)

User Rating:

3.7/10   

Director:

Andy Milligan

Writer:

Andy Milligan (screenplay)

Genre:

Horror

Tagline:

Death his religion blood his lust!

Plot:

A deranged 15th Century prison colony chaplain exploits his power to get money for his church including murder and grave robbing committed by his vampire mistress and one-eyed hunchback assistant.

Plot Keywords:

Hunchback | Murder | Chaplain | Vampire | Priest

Cast

Neil Flanagan	...	Father Guru
Jaqueline Webb	...	Olga
Judith Israel	...	Nadja
Jack Spencer	...	Igor
Frank Echols	...	Bishop Kopel
Gerald Jacuzzo	...	Father Polanski (as Jeremy Brooks)
Paul Lieber	...	Carl
Julia Wills	...	Christine
Ron Keith	...	Lars
Myschka	...	Mara
Irving Metzman	...	Hans
Jeffrey Isaacs	...	Altar Boy
Roy Gordon	...	Altar Boy
Stanley Herbert	...	Prison Guard
Billy Hoffman	...	Prison Guard

Also Known As:

Garu, the Mad Monk

Runtime:

62 min | USA:56 min (DVD version)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Mono

Certification:

Canada:13+ (Quebec) | USA:R

Filming Locations:

St. Peter's Church, New York City, New York, USA

Company:

Maipix Organization

Goofs:

Audio/visual unsynchronized: Guru plays the organ with both hands. The organ continues to play a two-handed melody as he lifts one hand off the keys. Then he lifts the other hand and it still plays.

Movie Connections:

Featured in Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 5 (1998) (V)

Ladies and gentlemen, the NEW King Of Bad Cinema!!!

Thank God I had the chance to see this thing! Did you understand how I felt watching CARNIVAL OF BLOOD? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet! If you're one of the few lucky ones to read this message, prepare yourself to witness the greatest cinematic catastrophe mankind will ever encounter since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon! Before you start blabbing to your friends and loved ones that PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is the worst movie ever made, tell them GURU THE MAD MONK is the most horrifying movie that ever existed! And I'm not talking about the things that go bump in the night! No, I'm talking about how experienced film producers with a college education would make such a BAD piece of cinematic trash for the whole world to see! At 57 minutes, Andy Milligan and friends created a rush job in getting this movie released to the local drive-ins in hopes of earning quick revenues. A bunch of poorly trained actors and a ludicrously atrocious script explains why. Things don't get any worse in Badmovieland!

Get a barf bag, NOW!!! You'll be glad you did!

Some of the highlights in GURU THE MAD MONK are light years beyond deliriousness. You won't believe the possibilities of the human senses! They include:

***A bishop standing on Guru's cape and ripping it! You can actually hear the sound of it!

***Olga, who stutters in her sentences and can't make up her mind on what to say!

***A villager who gets executed in a small pair of corduroys!

***The opening movie title made up of magnetic toy lettering!

And much, much, MUCH more!

Watch GURU THE MAD MONK all the way through for the first time without stopping and I'll guarantee you've survived a one-way ticket to Drive-In Hell with minor first-degree burns! I strongly recommend this one for viewers with bad taste and who are die-hard collectors of obscure cinema.

Lord have mercy!!!!