Ida:
Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
Ida:
[
to leering customer Wally] Leave something on me - I might catch cold.
Wally:
Oh boy! I'm so smart it's a disease!
Mildred:
I'm sorry I did that... I'd've rather cut off my hand!
Veda:
With this money I can get away from you. From you and your chickens and your pies and your kitchens and everything that smells of grease. I can get away from this shack with its cheap furniture. And this town and its dollar days, and its women that wear uniforms and its men that wear overalls.
Veda:
You think just because you made a little money you can get a new hairdo and some expensive clothes and turn yourself into a lady. But you can't, because you'll never be anything but a common frump whose father lived over a grocery store and whose mother took in washing.
Ida:
When men get around me, they get allergic to wedding rings.
Lottie:
[
on the opening of Mildred's restaurant] This is just like my wedding night, so exciting!
Wally:
You know, this is a pretty big night for you.
Policeman #1:
Yeah?
Wally:
Yeah, lots of excitement. There's a stiff in there!
Policeman #1:
Is that so? Oh and I suppose you were running right down to the station to report it?
Wally:
[
forced laugh]
Policeman #1:
Yeah...
[
to partner]
Policeman #1:
Say, he say's there's a dead guy in the house.
Policeman #2:
You never saw a deader.
Mildred:
That Ted Forrester's nice-looking, isn't he? Veda likes him.
Monte:
Who wouldn't? He has a million dollars.
Monte:
Oh, I wish I could get that interested in work.
Ida:
You were probably frightened by a callus at an early age!
Veda:
[
kissing check] Well, that's that!
Mildred:
I'm sorry this had to happen; sorry for the boy, he seemed very nice.
Veda:
Oh Ted's all right really. Did you see the look on his face when we told him he was going to be a father?
[
laughs]
Mildred:
I wish you wouldn't joke about it.
Veda:
Mother, you're a scream, really you are. The next thing I know you'll be knitting little garments.
Mildred:
I don't see anything so ridiculous about that.
Veda:
If I were you, I'd save myself the trouble.
Monte:
Drink?
Mildred:
You drink too much.
Monte:
I know, I do too much of everything. I'm spoiled.
Mildred:
You've too many sisters... They all seem to be my size too.
Monte:
I know, I like them your size.
[
raises glass]
Monte:
To brotherly love.
Wally:
[
to Ida] I hate all women. Thank goodness you're not one.
Mildred:
You look down on me, because I work for a living. Don't you.
Mildred:
Sold...
[
holds up glass to toast]
Mildred:
One Beragon.
Monte:
We weren't expecting you Mildred, obviously.
Veda:
It's just as well you know. I'm glad you know.
Mildred:
How long has this been going on?
Ida:
I like Mexico; it's so... Mexican.
Ida:
Oh, men. I never yet met one of them that didn't have the instincts of a heel. Sometimes I wish I could get along without them.
Wally:
There's something about the sound of my own voice that fascinates me.
Ida:
What is this, a class reunion?
Kay Pierce:
You ought to do something about your sit-down.
Veda:
What's wrong with it?
Kay Pierce:
It sticks out.
Veda:
It's the dress. It's awfully cheap material. I can tell by the smell.
Kay Pierce:
What did you expect? Want it inlaid with gold?
Veda:
Well, it seems to me, if you're buying anything, it should be the best. This is definitely not the best.
Kay Pierce:
Oh, quit. You're breakin' my heart.
Mildred:
Wally, you should be kept on a leash! Now why can't you be friendly?
Wally:
But I *am* being friendly!
Mildred:
No, I mean it. Friendship's much more lasting than love.
Wally:
Yeah, but it isn't as entertaining.
Mildred:
Cut it out, Wally. You make me feel like Little Red Riding Hood.
Wally:
And I'm the Big Bad Wolf, huh? Now, Milly, you've got me all wrong. I'm a romantic guy, but I'm no wolf.
Mildred:
Then quit howling!
Wally:
You know, you keep on refusing me, and one of these days I'm going to start thinking you're stubborn.
Ida:
Laughing boy seems slightly burned at the edges. What's eating him?
Mildred:
A small green-eyed monster.
Ida:
Jealous? That doesn't sound like Wally. No profit in it - and there's a boy who loves a dollar.
Veda:
That's what I like about you, Ida. You're so delightfully provincial.
Ida:
[
Sarcastically] And I like you, too.
[
to Monte]
Ida:
Don't look now, Junior, but you're standing under a brick wall.
Monte:
I don't get it.
Ida:
You will - when it falls on you.
Wally:
My client feels, and I am in complete accord with her, that she has been irrep - ih...
Mrs. Forrester's lawyer:
'Irreparably'?
Wally:
...unduly damaged. Therefore there is one more little formality that we should discuss first.
Mrs. Forrester's lawyer:
What's that, Mr. Fay?
Wally:
The financial settlement. You see, my client would like ten thousand dollars.
Mrs. Forrester's lawyer:
I think I'm safe in observing that almost anyone would like ten thousand dollars, Mr. Fay. But ih -...
Wally:
But ih - ?
Mrs. Forrester's lawyer:
We see no necessity for a financial settlement of any kind.
Wally:
You don't, huh?
Mrs. Forrester's lawyer:
No.
Wally:
[
Smirk] You will.
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