Memorable quotes for
Topper (1937) More at IMDbPro »

George Kerby: My pet, resting's the sort of thing you've got to work up to gradually... very dangerous to rest all of a sudden.

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Marion Kerby: Hey, George, is this 10:30 in the morning?
George Kerby: No, this is Topper's bank.

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Cosmo Topper: Good morning, Clara.
Mrs. Topper: Good morning, dear. You're late.
Cosmo Topper: Oh... better late than never. Only 44 seconds, anyhow.

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[Topper reading annual report of his bank]
Cosmo Topper: Bullion abroad and in transit, thirteen million, two hundred and two thousand, eight hundred and fifty-four dollars and no cents.
George Kerby: No sense.
Cosmo Topper: I just said that, Mr. Kerby.
George Kerby: So did I.

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Marion Kerby: Why don't you stop being a mummy for a few minutes and come to life? Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a mummy if you had any fun getting that way.
Cosmo Topper: But I... I didn't, you see.
Marion Kerby: No, I can tell that by the way you're staring at my knees.

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Cosmo Topper: So I'm a ditherer? Well, I'm jolly well going to dither, then!

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Secretary: Well, bless my blonde heart!

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Hotel Manager: Perhaps you can explain the red on this cigarette.
Cosmo Topper: Yes, I... cut my tongue when I was shaving this morning.

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Marion Kerby: Let's go have some dinner.
Cosmo Topper: Oh no, we cannot eat on an empty stomach!
Marion Kerby: Then we better have a few drinks first!

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Kerby, George: Say, if I'm in the way, you folks could leave.

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Cosmo Topper: My wife objects to drinking.
George Kerby: Then she shouldn't drink.
Cosmo Topper: She doesn't.
George Kerby: What's her objection?

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Marion Kerby: Oh, George, I can see right through you.
George Kerby: Say, that's funny. I can see through you, too.
Marion Kerby: [seeing her body lying next to George's beside the car, which has just crashed] George, look. You know something George? I think we're dead.
George Kerby: I think you're right. Funny; I don't *feel* any different.

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Marion Kerby: [she and George Kerby are invisible to Topper] Toppy doesn't know us, Toppy doesn't know us!

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George Kerby: [goes to change Topper's flat tire] Well, I'll be darned if I waste any ectoplasm doing it.
[turns invisible]

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Cosmo Topper: [to two bewildered onlookers, who've been watching him talk to an invisible Marion] Well, is it *my* fault there's no one here?

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Cosmo Topper: [to George]
[referring to his wife]
Cosmo Topper: Yes, I'v never - never beaten her.
[awkwardly]
Cosmo Topper: Not... yet, I haven't.
Cosmo Topper: [pauses]
[nods to liquor on the table]
Cosmo Topper: Open the other bottle.

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Cosmo Topper: [drunk] Well, that's how I dance. How do you like it?
George Kerby: [smiles and nods politely] Yes, I thought that was pretty - bad.

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[George and Marion watch a drunk Topper laying on the floor, passed out]
Marion Kerby: I don't think he's ever had a drink in his life.
George Kerby: Poor Topper.
Marion Kerby: Poor Topper.
Cosmo Topper: [mutters] Poor Topper.
George Kerby: You keep out of this.

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Casey: What's wrong here?
George Kerby: You are. Take a walk.

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George Kerby: Quiet, I'm practicing to be an angel.
Marion Kerby: Some angel you'd make.

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Marion Kerby: I'll be out before you can say Jack Robinson - only don't say it for a few minutes.

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Cosmo Topper: Can't you even *look* like a human being?
Wilkins: I don't know, sir, I've never tried.

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Mrs. Topper: Wilkins, after all these years, are you trying to be funny?

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Casey: [referring to Topper] Did you notice something funny about that guy?
Elevator Boy: That guy ain't funny, he ain't even human!

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