Quotes for
The Doctor (Character)
from "Doctor Who" (1963)

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"Doctor Who: The End of the World (#1.2)" (2005)

Rose Tyler: Is that why we're here? - I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?
The Doctor: I'm not saving it. Time's up.
Rose Tyler: But what about the people?
The Doctor: It's empty. they've all gone. No one left.
Rose Tyler: [silent; looks at the Earth] Just me then.

The Steward: Who the hell are you?
The Doctor: Oh, that's nice. Thanks!
The Steward: But how did you get in?
[sounds affronted]
The Steward: This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked.
[the Doctor reaches into his pocket]
The Steward: They're on their way any second...
The Doctor: Oh well, that's me. I'm a guest. Look.
[opening his wallet]
The Doctor: I've got an invitation. Look.
[shows the Steward slip of paper inside]
The Doctor: There, you see? It's fine. You see?
[points to paper]
The Doctor: "The Doctor plus One". I'm the Doctor and this is Rose Tyler. She's my 'plus 1'. Is that alright?
The Steward: Well... Obviously.
[humbley]
The Steward: Apologies, etcetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy.
[walks to his podium]
The Doctor: [waits till Steward is out of range; shows Rose a blank piece of paper in his wallet] The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.

The Doctor: The Moxx of Balhoon!
Moxx of Balhoon: My felicitations upon this historical happenstance. I bring you the gift of bodily salivas.
[spits on Rose]
The Doctor: Thank you very much.
[laughing on the last word, though he tries not to]

Rose Tyler: They're just so alien. The aliens are so alien. You look at 'em, and they're alien.
The Doctor: Good thing I didn't take you to the deep south!

Rose Tyler: They all speak English.
The Doctor: No you just hear English. Its the gift of the TARDIS - the telepathic field gets inside your brain - translates.
Rose Tyler: Its inside my brain?
The Doctor: Well, in a good way!

Rose Tyler: [about the Doctor's alien origins] Who are you then, Doctor? What you called? What sort of alien are you?
The Doctor: I'm just the Doctor.
Rose Tyler: From what planet?
The Doctor: Well, it's not as if you'd know where it is.
Rose Tyler: Where are you from?
The Doctor: What does it matter?
Rose Tyler: Tell me who you are!
The Doctor: This is who I am! Right here, right now! Alright? All that counts is here and now and this is me!
Rose Tyler: Yeah, and I'm here too 'cause you brought me here. So just tell me!
[Doctor stands and walks quickly to the window; clearly not wanting to say anything more]

Cassandra: At Arms!
[attendants raise spray nozzles; both aim at the Doctor]
The Doctor: What are you gonna do - moisturize me?
Cassandra: [menacingly] With acid.

Rose Tyler: Where are you from?
The Doctor: All over the place.

The Doctor: Oh, she's not my wife.
Jabe: Partner?
The Doctor: No.
Jabe: Concubine?
The Doctor: Nope.
Jabe: Prostitute?
Rose Tyler: Whatever I am, it must be invisible - do you mind? Tell you what - you two go and pollenate - I'm gonna catch up with the family.
[points at Cassandra]
Rose Tyler: Quick word with Michael Jackson.
The Doctor: Don't start a fight.
[offers his arm to Jabe]
The Doctor: I'm all yours.
[she accepts his arm; both start to leave]
Rose Tyler: [to Doctor] And I want you home by midnight!

The Doctor: People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them.
Cassandra: It depends on your definition of 'people'. And that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries.

Rose Tyler: Your machine gets inside my head, it gets inside and it changes my mind and you didn't even ask?
The Doctor: I didn't think about it like that.
Rose Tyler: No, you were too busy thinking up cheap shots about the Deep South.

Cassandra: [as she is revealed as the mastermind behind the sabotage] I had hoped to manufacture a hostage situation, with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous.
The Doctor: Five billion years and it still comes down to money.
Cassandra: Do you think it's cheap looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune.

The Doctor: [Jabe holds the fan control down so that the Doctor can safely get across to the sun shield's manual override button] You can't. The heat's going to vent through this place.
Jabe: I know.
The Doctor: Jabe, you're made of wood!
Jabe: Then stop wasting time, Time Lord.

Rose Tyler: [Cassandra is dying] Help her.
The Doctor: Everything has its time and everything dies.

Rose Tyler: So when it says guests, does that mean people?
The Doctor: Depends what you mean by people
Rose Tyler: I mean people. What do you mean?
The Doctor: Aliens.
Rose Tyler: What are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?
The Doctor: It's not really a spaceship, more like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.
Rose Tyler: What for?
The Doctor: Fun. Mind you, when I say "the great and the good," what I mean is the rich.

Rose Tyler: [looking at the Earth] How long's it got?
The Doctor: About half an hour. Then the planet gets roasted.

Rose Tyler: [on the Steward, after Doctor explains the psychic paper] He's blue!
The Doctor: Yeah.
Rose Tyler: Okay.

The Doctor: [after Jabe gives him a cutting of her grandfather] Thank you.
[gives it to Rose to hold; searching his pockets]
The Doctor: Yes, gifts. Um - I give you in return... air from my lungs.
[softly blows air towards her face]
Jabe: [breathing in] How... intimate.
The Doctor: There's more where that came from.
Jabe: I bet there is.

The Doctor: [juddering impact] That's not supposed to happen.

The Doctor: There you go.
[gives Rose her mobile phone]
The Doctor: [the LCD moniter displays 'Mum'; Rose presses 'Call', and dials her mum. Jackie Tyler answers the phone]
Jackie Tyler: Hello?
Rose Tyler: Mum?
Jackie Tyler: [cuts to Jackie taking clothes out of the dryer] Oh, what is it? What's wrong? What have I done, now? Oh, this red top's falling to bits. You should get your money back. Go on! It must be something. You never phone in the middle of the day.
[Rose laughs]
Jackie Tyler: What's so funny?
Rose Tyler: Nothing. You're alright though?
Jackie Tyler: Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
Rose Tyler: What day is it?
Jackie Tyler: Wednsday, all day. You got a hangover? Oh, I tell you what. Put a quid in that Lottery syndicate. I'll pay you back later.
Rose Tyler: Yeah, um. I was just calling 'cause I might be late home.
Jackie Tyler: Is there something wrong?
Rose Tyler: No, I'm-I'm fine.
[mildly laughing]
Rose Tyler: Top of the world.
Jackie Tyler: [Jackie hangs up]
The Doctor: Think that's amazing, you want to see the bill?

The Doctor: [taking Rose's mobile phone] Tell ya what... with a little bit of jiggery pokery...
Rose Tyler: Is that a technical term, jiggery pokery?
The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose Tyler: Nah, I failed hullabaloo.

Rose Tyler: That was five billion years ago. So... my mum's dead. Five billion years later, and my mum's dead.
The Doctor: Bundle of laughs, you are.

Jabe: This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the upper class. Nothing can go wrong.
The Doctor: Unsinkable?
Jabe: If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate.
The Doctor: [to Jabe] You're telling me. I was on another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. I ended up clinging to an iceberg. It wasn't half cold.

The Doctor: So what you're saying is, if we get in trouble, there's no one to help us out?
Jabe: I'm afraid not.
The Doctor: Fantastic!
Jabe: I don't understand. In what way is that fantastic?

The Doctor: Fair do's though, that's a great bit of air conditioning - nice and old fashioned... bet they call it "retro".

The Doctor: Anyone in there?
Rose Tyler: Let me out!
The Doctor: Oh well, it would be you!

The Doctor: The whole thing's jammed. I can't open the door. Stay there. Don't move!
Rose Tyler: Where am I gonna go - Ipswich?

The Doctor: [talking to metallic spider] Go on, Jimbo! Go home!

The Doctor: Jabe, come on. You lot - just chill.

Rose Tyler: [watches pieces of the destroyed Earth pass the window] The end of the earth. Its gone... we were too busy saving ourselves, no one saw it go. All those years, all that history and no one was even looking. It's just...
The Doctor: [holds his hand out to her] Come with me...

The Doctor: 10,000 years in the future. Step outside and it's the year 12005, the New Roman Empire.
Rose Tyler: You think you're so impressive.
The Doctor: I *am* so impressive!
Rose Tyler: You wish.

Rose Tyler: But hold on - they did this once on Newsround Extra - the sun expanding. That takes hundreds of years.
The Doctor: Millions! But the planet's now the property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? Gravity satellites holding back the sun.
Rose Tyler: The planet looks the same as ever! I thought the continents shifted and things.
The Doctor: They did, and the Trust shifted them back. That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over.

The Doctor: So tell me, Jabe, what's a tree like you doing in a place like this?

The Doctor: [as he and Rose view the Earth from Platform 1] You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're gonna get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible. Like maybe you survive. This is the year 5.5/apple/26, five billion years in your future, and this is the day... Hold on...
[He checks his watch, and through the window the sun suddenly flares]
The Doctor: This is the day the sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world.

The Doctor: You've seen how dangerous it is - do you wanna go home?
Rose Tyler: I dunno... I want... Oh, can you smell chips?
The Doctor: Yeah!
[laughs]
The Doctor: Yeah!
Rose Tyler: I want chips.
The Doctor: Me too!
Rose Tyler: Right then, before you get me back in that box - chips it is - and you can pay.
The Doctor: No money.
Rose Tyler: What sort of date are you? Come on then, tight wad, chips are on me... we've only got five billion years till the shops close!

The Doctor: You think it'll last forever, the people and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day it's all gone, even the sky. My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's rocks and dust before its time.
Rose Tyler: What happened?
The Doctor: There was a war, and we lost.
Rose Tyler: A war with who?
[the Doctor doesn't answer]
Rose Tyler: What about your people?
The Doctor: I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of them. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own because there's no-one else.
Rose Tyler: There's me.

---

"Doctor Who: Rose (#1.1)" (2005)

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, by the way, what's your name?
Rose Tyler: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose, - run for yer life!

[his first line]
The Doctor: Run.

Rose Tyler: What did you say your name was?
The Doctor: I told you; The Doctor.
Rose Tyler: Yeah, but, Doctor what?
The Doctor: Just The Doctor.
Rose Tyler: The doctor?
The Doctor: Hello!
Rose Tyler: Is that meant to be impressive?
The Doctor: Sort of, yeah.

The Doctor: [leafing through Rose's copy of 'Heat' magazine] That won't last. He's gay and she's an alien.

Rose Tyler: Really though, Doctor. Tell me. Who are you?
The Doctor: Do you know like we were saying, about the earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cause everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it...
[he takes her hand]
The Doctor: - the turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour. The entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour. And I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world. And, if we let go...
[He releases her hand]
The Doctor: That's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home.

[last lines]
The Doctor: By the way, did I also mention it also travels in time?
Rose Tyler: [to Mickey] Thanks.
Mickey Smith: Thanks for what?
Rose Tyler: Exactly.
[she kisses him, then turns and runs toward the TARDIS]

The Doctor: Now we're in trouble.

Jackie Tyler: I'm in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie Tyler: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie Tyler: Well, anything could happen.
The Doctor: [shakes his head and smiles] No.

Rose Tyler: [after the Doctor saves Rose from the Auton attack in the basement, they travel in the lift] You pulled his arm off!
The Doctor: Yep! Plastic
Rose Tyler: Very clever, nice trick. Who were they then, students? Is this a student thing or what?
The Doctor: Why would they be students?
Rose Tyler: I dunno.
The Doctor: Well you said it, why students?
Rose Tyler: Cos... to get that many people dressed up and being silly... they gotta be students.
The Doctor: That makes sense. Well done!
Rose Tyler: Thanks.
The Doctor: They're not students.

The Doctor: [explaining to Rose about the Autons as he goes through the shop] They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. And they're being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which would be a great big problem, if I didn't have this.
[takes out an explosive device]
The Doctor: So I'm going to go upstairs and blow it up, and I might well die in the process, but don't worry about me, no. You go on home.
[guides Rose through the fire-door]
The Doctor: go on and have your lovely beans on toast. Don't tell anyone about this 'cause if you do, you'll get them killed.
[slams the door]

The Doctor: What you doing 'ere?
Rose Tyler: I live here!
The Doctor: Well, what you go and do a thing like that for?

Rose Tyler: Hold on a minute! You can't just go swanning off!
The Doctor: Yes I can. Look. Here I am. This is me swanning off. Seeya!

The Doctor: Well, who else is there? I mean you lot, all you do is eat chips, go to bed and watch telly, while all the time underneath you there's a war going on!

The Doctor: The assembled hoards of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and believe me they've tried! Now shut up a minute!

Rose Tyler: But if we're somewhere else what about that headless thing? Is it still on the loose?
The Doctor: It melted with the head. Are you gonna witter on all night?

Rose Tyler: If you are an alien how come you sound like you're from the North?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a north!

The Doctor: [faces her] Where did you want to start?
Rose Tyler: Um...
[looking around the TARDIS]
Rose Tyler: The inside's bigger than the outside?
The Doctor: Yes.
Rose Tyler: It's alien?
The Doctor: Yep.
Rose Tyler: Are you alien?
The Doctor: Yes.
[pause]
The Doctor: Is that all right?
Rose Tyler: [little too quickly] Yeah.

Rose Tyler: What's a Police Public Call Box?
The Doctor: Its a telephone box from the 1950s. It's a disguise.

The Doctor: Think of it. Plastic - all over the world - every artificial thing, waiting to come alive. Shop window dummies, phones, the wires, cables...
Rose Tyler: The breast implants...

[inviting Rose onto the TARDIS]
The Doctor: This isn't just a London Hopper, you know. It can go anywhere in the universe, free of charge.
Mickey Smith: Don't! He's an alien! He's a thing!
The Doctor: He's not invited.

Rose Tyler: You've got to tell me what's going on!
The Doctor: No, I don't.

The Doctor: They want to overthrow the Earth and destroy you. Do you believe me?
Rose Tyler: No.
The Doctor: But you're still listening.

Rose Tyler: What have I done wrong? How come those plastic things keep coming after me?
The Doctor: Oh, suddenly the world revolves around you! You were just an accident. You got in the way, that's all.
Rose Tyler: It tried to kill me!
The Doctor: It was after me, not you. Last night in the shop, I was there, you blundered in, almost ruined the whole thing. This morning I was tracking it down, it was tracking me down. The only reason it fixed on you was because you met me.
Rose Tyler: So what you're saying is that the whole world revolves around you?
The Doctor: Sort of, yeah.
Rose Tyler: You're full of it.
The Doctor: Sort of, yeah.

Rose Tyler: Did they kill him - Mickey - did they kill Mickey? Is he dead?
The Doctor: Oh, I didn't think of that.
Rose Tyler: He's my boyfriend! You pulled off his head, they copied him, and you didn't even think? And now you're just going to let him *melt*?

The Doctor: [from trailer] D'you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do then I should warn you; you'll see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be safe, it won't be quiet and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be; the trip of a lifetime!

[when seeing his new body for the first time]
The Doctor: Ah... Could have been worse. But look at the ears...

The Doctor: [to Rose and Mickey] Can we keep the domestics outside, please?

Rose Tyler: Is it always this dangerous?
The Doctor: Yeah.

The Doctor: [answering the Nestene Consciousness] That's not true! I should know. I was there. I fought in the war! It wasn't my fault. I couldn't save your world! I couldn't save any of them!

The Doctor: [to the Nestene Consciousness] This planet is just starting. These stupid little people have only just learned how to walk but they're capable of so much more. I'm asking you, on their behalf, please just go.

The Doctor: [to the Nestene Consciousness] If I might observe, you infiltrated this civilization by means of Warp Shunt technology... so may I suggest with the greatest respect that you shunt off.
[smug grin]

The Doctor: [after realising the London Eye is the Nestene signalling device] Oh... Fantastic!

The Doctor: It's called the TARDIS, this thing. T.A.R.D.I.S. That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
[Rose starts crying]
The Doctor: Culture shock. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

Rose Tyler: Okay. And this living plastic, what's it got against us?
The Doctor: It loves you. You've got such a good planet! Lots of smoke and oil, plenty of toxins and dioxins in the air... perfect. Just what the Nestene Consciousness needs. Its food stock was destroyed in the war, all its protein plants rotted, so Earth: dinner!

The Doctor: Must've got the wrong signal... you're not plastic are you?
[taps Rose on the forehead]
The Doctor: No. Bonehead. Bye then!

---

"Doctor Who: Utopia (#3.11)" (2007)

The Doctor: We're accelerating into the future. The year one billion, five billion, five trillion, fifty trillion... What? The year one hundred trillion? That's impossible!
Martha Jones: Why? What happens then?
The Doctor: We're going to the end of the universe.
[Captain Jack Harkness is seen in the time vortex hanging onto the TARDIS]
Captain Jack Harkness: [shouts] Doctor!

Captain Jack Harkness: Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?
Martha Jones: [smiles] Martha Jones.
Captain Jack Harkness: [half smile, half laugh] Nice to meet you Martha Jones.
The Doctor: Oh, don't start!
Captain Jack Harkness: [defensively] I was only saying hello.
Martha Jones: I don't mind.

Captain Jack Harkness: [to a refugee] Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?
The Doctor: Stop it!

The Doctor: It strikes me, Professor, that you've got a room that no one can enter without dying. Is that correct?
Prof. Yana: Yes.
The Doctor: Well...
[Jack comes back to life]
The Doctor: ...I think I've got just the man.
Captain Jack Harkness: Was someone kissing me?

Martha Jones: You *grew* another hand.
The Doctor: [waves his hand at her] Hello again.
The Doctor: [Martha isn't convinced. The Doctor stands up] It's fine.
[the Doctor puts his hand out]
The Doctor: Look really it's me.
[Martha shakes his hand]
Martha Jones: All this time and you're still full of surprises!
[the Doctor smiles and winks at her]
Chantho: [giggling] Chan, you are most unusual, tho.
The Doctor: Well...
[the Doctor, Martha, and Chantho giggle]

The Doctor: You might be out there somewhere.
Captain Jack Harkness: I can go meet myself.
The Doctor: Well, the only man you're ever going to be happy with.
Captain Jack Harkness: This new regeneration, it's kinda cheeky.

Professor Yana: It's just a headache. It's just this noise inside my head, Doctor. Constant noise inside my head.
The Doctor: What sort of noise?
Professor Yana: It's the sound of drums. More and more, as though it's getting closer.
The Doctor: When did it start?
Professor Yana: I've had it all my life, every waking hour. Still, no rest for the wicked.

Martha Jones: What killed it?
The Doctor: Time. Just time. Everything's dying now. All the great civilisations have gone. This isn't just night, all the stars have burnt out and faded away, to nothing.
Captain Jack Harkness: They must have an atmospheric shell. We should be frozen to death.
The Doctor: Well, Martha and I maybe. Not so sure about you Jack.
Martha Jones: But what about the people. Does no one survive?
The Doctor: I suppose... we have to hope. Life will find a way.

The Doctor: But if the universe is falling apart then what does Utopia mean?
[Professor Yana appears, looking pleased, looks between The Doctor and Jack]
Professor Yana: [pointing to Jack] The Doctor?
The Doctor: That's me.
Professor Yana: Ah! Good!
[excitedly grabs the Doctor's hand a runs down the corridor with him in tow]
Professor Yana: GOOD! Good! Good! Good, good, good, good! Good! Good!
The Doctor: [looks back at Jack and Martha] It's "good" apparently.

The Master: Now, then, Doctor! Oooh, new voice. Hello, hellooo, helllloooo! Anyway... why don't we sit down and have a nice little chat where I can tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!
The Doctor: Please... please, I'm asking real properly, just stop! Just think!
The Master: Use my name.
The Doctor: Master... I'm sorry.
The Master: Tough!

The Doctor: [about Rose] Everything she did was so human. She brought you back to life, but she couldn't control it. She brought you back forever. That's something, I suppose. The final act of the Time War was life.
Captain Jack Harkness: [working a power system panel] Do you think she could change me back?
The Doctor: I took the power out of her. She's gone, Jack. She's not just living on a parallel world. She's trapped there. The walls have closed.
Captain Jack Harkness: I'm sorry.
The Doctor: Yeah.
Captain Jack Harkness: I went back to her estate in the Nineties, just once or twice, watched her growing up. Never said hello, time lines and all that.
The Doctor: Do you want to die?
Captain Jack Harkness: [pulling on a power system panel] This one's a little stuck.
The Doctor: Jack.
Captain Jack Harkness: I thought I did. I don't know, but this lot, you see them out here surviving and that's fantastic.

The Doctor: The ripe old smell of humans. You survive. Oh, you might have spent a million years evolving into clouds of gas and another million as downloads, but you always revert to the same basic shape. The fundamental human. End of the universe and here you are. Indomitable, that's the word. Indomitable!

Professor Yana: The call came from across the stars, over and over again. 'Come to Utopia'. Originating from that point.
The Doctor: Where is that?
Professor Yana: Oh, it's far beyond the condensed wilderness, out towards the wildlands and the dark matter reefs, calling us in. The last of the humans scattered across the night.
The Doctor: What do you think's out there?
Professor Yana: We can't know. A colony? A city? Some sort of haven? The science foundation created the Utopia project thousands of years ago to preserve mankind, to find a way of surviving beyond the collapse of reality itself. Perhaps they found it. Perhaps not, but it's worth a look, don't you think?
The Doctor: Oh yes.

The Doctor: That rocket's not going to fly, is it? This footprint mechanism thing. It's not working.
Professor Yana: We'll find a way.
The Doctor: You're stuck on this planet, and you haven't told them, have you? That lot out there, they still think they're going to fly.
Professor Yana: Well, it's better to let them live in hope.
The Doctor: Quite right too.

Professor Yana: Even my title is an affectation. There hasn't been such a thing as a university for over a thousand years. I've spent my life going from one refugee ship to another.
The Doctor: If you'd been born in a different time, you'd be revered. I mean it. Throughout the galaxies.
Professor Yana: Oh, those damn galaxies. They had to go and collapse. Some admiration would have been nice. Just a little, just once.
The Doctor: Well, you have it now. That footprint engine thing, you can't activate it from onboard. It's got to be done from here. You're staying behind.
Professor Yana: With Chantho. She won't leave without me. She simply refuses.
The Doctor: You'd give your life so they could fly?
Professor Yana: Think I'm a little too old for Utopia. Time I had some sleep.

The Doctor: I can't help it. I'm a Time Lord. It's instinct; it's in my guts. You're a fixed point in time and space; you're a fact. That's never meant to happen. Even the TARDIS reacted against you, tried to shake you off. Flew all the way to the end of the universe just to get rid of you.
Captain Jack Harkness: So what you're saying is... you're prejudiced?
The Doctor: I never thought of it like that.
Captain Jack Harkness: Shame on you.

The Doctor: And Utopia is...?
Professor Yana: Oh, every human knows of Utopia. Where have you been?
The Doctor: Bit of a Hermit.
Professor Yana: A-a hermit
[sounds doubtful]
Professor Yana: with, uh, friends?
The Doctor: Hermits United. We meet up every 10 years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a Hermit.

Martha Jones: Doctor, it's the Professor. He's got this watch, this fob watch that's the same as yours. Same writing, same everything.
The Doctor: [looking terrified] Don't be ridiculous.
Martha Jones: I asked him, he said he's had it his whole life.
Captain Jack Harkness: So, he's got the same watch.
Martha Jones: But it's not a watch, it's a thing, a chameleon thing.
The Doctor: No, no, no, it's this thing, this device, it re-writes biology. Changes a Time Lord into a human.
[Jack looks up]
Martha Jones: And it's the same watch!
The Doctor: [desperately] It can't be.
Captain Jack Harkness: That means he could be a Time Lord. You may not be the last one.

Captain Jack Harkness: So there I was, stranded in the year two-hundred-one-hundred, ankle deep in Dalek dust, he goes off without me. But I had this. I used to be a Time Agent, it's called a Vortex Manipulator. He's not the only one who can time travel...
The Doctor: Excuse me, that's not time travel. It's like, I've got a sports car, you've got a Space Hopper.
Martha Jones: Oh, boys and their toys.
Captain Jack Harkness: All right, so I bounced.

Captain Jack Harkness: Captain Jack Harkness.
The Doctor: Stop it!
Captain Jack Harkness: Can't I say hello to anyone?
Chantho: Chan-I do not protest-tho.
Captain Jack Harkness: [winks] Maybe later, blue.

Martha Jones: But isn't that brilliant?
The Doctor: It is, of course it is, but depends which one. Brilliant, fantastic, yeah. But they died, the Time Lords, all of them, they died!
Captain Jack Harkness: Not if he was human.
The Doctor: What did he say, Martha? WHAT DID HE SAY?
Martha Jones: [taken aback] He looked at the watch like he could hardly see it, like that perception filter thing...
The Doctor: And what about now? Can he see it now?

The Doctor: You've built this system out of food and string and staples. Professor Yana, you're a genius.
Prof. Yana: Says than man who made it work.
The Doctor: Aah, it's easy, coming in at the end. But you're stellar, this is, this is magnificent!

The Doctor: Well, we've landed.
Martha Jones: So, what's out there?
The Doctor: I don't know.
Martha Jones: Ha, say that again, that's rare.
The Doctor: Not even the Time Lords came this far. We should leave. We should go. We should really, really... go...
[he grins, he and Martha run outside]

The Doctor: Cardiff!
Martha Jones: Cardiff?
The Doctor: Ah but, the thing about Cardiff - it's built on a rift in time and space - just like... California on the San Andreas Fault. But the rift bleeds energy, and the TARDIS can use it as fuel.
Martha Jones: So it's a pit stop.
The Doctor: Exactly.

Martha Jones: Wait a minute... they had an earthquake in Cardiff a couple of years ago, was that you?
The Doctor: Bit of trouble with the Slitheen. Long time ago. Lifetimes - I was a different man back then.

Martha Jones: [about Jack] It's a bit odd though, not very hundred trillion. That coat looks more like World War two.
The Doctor: I think he came with us.
Martha Jones: How d'you mean? From Earth?
The Doctor: Must have been clinging to the outside of the TARDIS. All the way through the Vortex. Well, that's very him.
Martha Jones: What, do you know him?
The Doctor: Friend of mine. Used to travel with me. Back in the old days.
Martha Jones: But he's... I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat. There's nothing. He's dead.
[Jack suddenly wakes up gasping loudly, which causes Martha to scream; Jack grabs onto her as he tries to recover]
Martha Jones: Oh, so much for me.

Captain Jack Harkness: Doctor.
The Doctor: Captain.
Captain Jack Harkness: Good to see you.
The Doctor: And you. Same as ever. Although, have you had work done?
Captain Jack Harkness: You can talk!
The Doctor: [looks confused for a second] Oh yes, the face. Regeneration. How did you know this was me?
Captain Jack Harkness: The police box kinda gives it away.

The Doctor: Professor! Let me in! I'm begging you professor! Professor! Chantho are you there? Professor, whatever you do DON'T OPEN THAT WATCH!

[Jack prepares to enter a deadly radiation filled room]
The Doctor: Whoa, what are you taking your clothes off for?
Captain Jack Harkness: I'm goin' in!
The Doctor: By the looks of it, I'd say the Stet radiation doesn't affect clothes, only flesh.
Captain Jack Harkness: Well, I'll look good though.

The Doctor: Professor, it's a wild stab in the dark, but I just may have found you a way out.
[Yana looks at the TARDIS with a horrified look on his face]

The Doctor: When did you realise?
Captain Jack Harkness: Earth, 1892. Got in a fight on Ellis Island. Man shot me through the heart, then I woke up. Thought it was kinda strange. But then it never stopped. Fell off a cliff, trampled by horses, world war one, world war two, poison, starvation, a stray javelin...
The Doctor: [painful] Ooh!
Captain Jack Harkness: In the end, I got the message. I'm the man who can never die. And all that time you knew.
The Doctor: That's why I left you behind. It's not easy, even just... just looking at you, Jack, 'cause you're wrong.
Captain Jack Harkness: Thanks.

Doctor: Prof. Yana, this new science is well beyond me. But all the same, a boost reversal circuit in any time frame must be a circuit which reverses the boost. So, I wonder, what would happen if I... did... this?
[uses sonic screwdriver on a cable, then pulls it apart. Sirens sound and lights flash in lab]
Chantho: Chan, it's working, tho!
Prof. Yana: But how did you do that?
Doctor: While we've been chatting away, I forgot to tell you: I'm brilliant.

Martha: [lifting a Tank of water containing a hand out of Jack's bag and placing it on the tabetop] Oh, my, God! You've got a hand? A hand in a jar? A hand, in a jar, in your bag!
Doctor: Bu-tha-tha-that's *my* hand!
Jack: I said I had a Doctor Detector.
Chantho: Chan, is this a tradition amongst your people, tho?
Martha: Not on my street! What do you mean that's your hand? You've got both your hands! I can see them!
Doctor: Long story. I lost my hand, Christmas Day, in a sword fight.
[Flashback: The Sycorax Leader chops the Doctor's hand off]
Martha: What? And you... grew another hand?
Doctor: Um, yeah. I did, yeah.
[holds it up and waves it]
Doctor: Hello.
Professor Yana: [to the Doctor] Might I ask, what species are you?
Doctor: Time Lord. Last of. Heard of them? Legend or anything? Not even a myth? Blimey, the end of the Universe is a bit humbling.
Chantho: Chan, it is said that I am the last of my species too, tho.
Doctor: Sorry, what was your name?
Professor Yana: My assistant, and good friend Chantho. A survivor of the Malmooth, this was their planet Malcassairo, before we took refuge.
Doctor: The city outside, that was yours?
Chantho: Chan, the conglomeration died, tho.
Doctor: Conglomeration! That's what I said!
Jack: You're supposed to say, "sorry".
Doctor: Oh, yes.
[to Chantho]
Doctor: Sorry.
Chantho: Chan, most grateful, tho.

---

"Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion (#2.0)" (2005)

The Doctor: [still recently regenerated] Am I... Ginger?
Rose: No, you're just sort of... brown.
The Doctor: Aww, I wanted to be ginger. I've never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me. Ooh, that was rude. Is that the kind of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger?

The Doctor: Beyond The Doctor I just don't know who I am. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm gonna test it. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Life and misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A lier? A nervous wreck? Judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this: A great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstance. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem, cause I really don't know who I am and I don't know where to stop. So when I see a great big threatening button which should never ever ever be pressed, then I just want to do this!
[presses it]

The Doctor: My head!
[groans in pain]
The Doctor: I'm having a neuron implosion... I need...
Jackie Tyler: What do you need?
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: Just say it!
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: Tell me, tell me, tell me!
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: Painkillers!
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: D'you need aspirin?
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie Tyler: Is it food? Something simple? Bowl of soup? Nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Bowl of soup and a nice ham sandwich?
The Doctor: I *need* you to *shut up*!
Jackie Tyler: Oooh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?

The Doctor: Ahh, not bad for a man in his Jim-Jams. Very Arthur Dent, now there was a nice man.

The Doctor: This new hand... it's a fightin' hand!

Sycorax Leader: I can summon the armada and take this world by force.
The Doctor: Well, yeah, you could. Yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why? Look at these people: These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than - No hold on... Sorry, that's the 'Lion King'. But the point still stands.

The Doctor: Now, first things first. Be honest, how do I look?
Rose Tyler: Uh... different.
The Doctor: Am I... ginger?
Rose Tyler: No, you're just sort of... brown.
The Doctor: Aw! I always wanted to be ginger!

The Doctor: We haven't got much time. If there's Pilot Fish then... why is there an apple in my dressing gown?
Jackie Tyler: Oh, that's Howard's, sorry.
The Doctor: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
Jackie Tyler: He gets hungry...
The Doctor: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
Jackie Tyler: Sometimes.

The Doctor: [on the verge of collapsing again] The pilot fish... the pilot fish mean... something... something... something's coming...

Sycorax Leader: I can summon the armada and take this world by force!
The Doctor: Well, yeah, you *could*, you could do that, course you could, but *why*? Look at these people, these human beings, consider their potential. From the day they arrive on this planet and blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do... no, hold on... sorry, that's the Lion King... but the point still stands! Leave them alone!
Sycorax Leader: Or what?
The Doctor: Or...
[grabs Sycorax broadsword]
The Doctor: ...I challenge you!
[the Sycorax roar and shout]
The Doctor: Ooh, that struck a chord...

The Doctor: Look at them. Look at how much potential they have. From the day they arrived on the planet... blinking stepped into the sun. There's more to see than can ever be done... more to see than can ever be... hold on. Sorry... that's The Lion King

[first lines]
The Doctor: Jackie, Mickey, blimey! No, no, no, no, hold on. Wait there! I've got something to say. I've got something I had to tell you. Something important, what was it? No, no, no, hold on. Tch tch tch tch... Oh, I know! Merry Christmas!

Jackie Tyler: Well, I reckon you're mad, the pair of you. It's like you go looking for trouble.
The Doctor: Trouble's just the bits in-between! It's all waiting out there, Jackie. And it's brand new to me - all those planets and creatures and horizons! I haven't seen them yet, not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic!

[last lines]
Rose: So, where we gonna go first?
The Doctor: [pointing into the sky] Um. That way. No, hold on - that way.
Rose: That way?
The Doctor: Mmm?
Rose: [smiling] Yeah. That way.

Sycorax Leader: [shouts] I demand to know who you are!
The Doctor: [shouts, imitating him] I don't know!
The Doctor: See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I - I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?
[he winks at Rose]
The Doctor: Am I an old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob.

The Doctor: Blood control! Awww, I haven't seen blood control for *years*!

The Doctor: No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.

The Doctor: I gave them the wrong warning. I should have told them to run, as fast as they can. Run and hide, because the monsters are coming - the human race.

The Doctor: See, that's the thing, I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I... I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm testing. Am I... funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?"
[He winks at Rose]
The Doctor: Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed, left-handed, a gambler, a fighter, a coward, a traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck - I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob!

The Doctor: [to Rose having recovered from his regeneration] Did you miss me?

The Doctor: Mickey! Hello. And Harriet Jones for Flydale North. Blimey, it's like "This Is Your Life."

The Doctor: Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannin, just the thing for healing the synapses...

Sycorax Leader: You stand as this world's champion?
The Doctor: Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you've just summed me up.

The Doctor: Blood control. Blood control! You're controlling all the A positives.

The Doctor: See, that's all blood control is - cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off you, but that's as far as it goes. It's like hypnotism. You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis, you can't hypnotise them to *death* - survival instinct's too strong.

The Doctor: [Doctor has just regenerated a new hand] This new hand, it's a fightin' hand!

The Doctor: Not bad for a man in his jim jams. Very Arthur Dent. Now there was a nice man.

The Doctor: [to the Sycorax leader] So - do you accept my challenge? Or are you just a clallachpeldassacrissalvac?

The Doctor: Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones. 'Cause I'm a completely new man. I could bring down your Government with a single word.
Harriet Jones: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met. But I don't think you're quite capable of that.
The Doctor: No, you're right. Not a single word.
[pause]
The Doctor: Just six.
Harriet Jones: I don't think so.
The Doctor: Six words.
Harriet Jones: Stop it!
The Doctor: Six.
[approaches Alex, whispering in his ear]
The Doctor: Don't you think she looks tired?

The Doctor: [as Sycorax Leader celebrates cutting The Doctor's hand off] You cut my hand off! And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first 15 hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this.
[spontaneously grows hand back]
Sycorax Leader: Witchcraft?
The Doctor: Time Lord!

The Doctor: By the ancient rites of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential, when you talk of the Earth, then make sure that you tell them this ...
[shouts]
The Doctor: …it is defended!

The Doctor: [the TARDIS has just crash landed on earth and a newly regenerated Doctor appears from within. He is a bit disorientated after his transformation] Here we are then. London, Earth... Solar system. I did it.
[seeing Jackie and Mickey]
The Doctor: Jackie, Mickey, blimey! No, no, no, no. Hold on. Wait there. I've got something to say. There's something I had to tell you. Something important. What was it? No, hold on, hold on... Oh, I know! Merry Christmas.
[he suddenly passes out. Rose emerges from the TARDIS]
Rose Tyler: What happened? Is he all right?
Mickey Smith: I don't know. He just keeled over. But who is he? Where's the Doctor?
Rose Tyler: That's him, right in front of you. That's the Doctor.
Jackie Tyler: What do you mean that's the Doctor? Doctor who?

---

"Doctor Who: Dalek (#1.6)" (2005)

Dalek: Open the bulkhead, or Rose Tyler dies.
The Doctor: You're alive!
Rose Tyler: Can't get rid of me.
The Doctor: I thought you were dead.
Dalek: Open the bulkhead!
Rose Tyler: Don't do it!
Dalek: [to the Doctor] What use are emotions if you will not save the woman you love?

Dalek: And the coward survived.
The Doctor: Oh, and I caught your little signal, help me, poor little thing. But there's no-one else coming cause there's no-one else left.
Dalek: I am alone in the universe.
The Doctor: Yep.
Dalek: So are you. We are the same.
The Doctor: We're not the same! I'm not the... No, wait, maybe we are... Yeah, right, yeah, okay. You've got a point 'cause I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve. Exterminate!
[he flips a switch which begins to electrocute the Dalek]

The Doctor: The metal is just battle armour. The real Dalek creature is inside.
Henry van Statten: What does it look like?
The Doctor: A nightmare. It's a mutation. The Dalek race was genetically engineered. Every single emotion was removed except hate.
Henry van Statten: Genetically engineered. By whom?
The Doctor: [about Davros, the Dalek's creator] By a genius, Van Statten. By a man who was king of his own little world. You'd like him.

The Doctor: Why won't you just *die*!

The Doctor: All right then. If you want orders, follow this one.
[pause]
The Doctor: Kill yourself.
Dalek: The Daleks must survive!
The Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Why don't you finish the job, and make the Daleks extinct? Rid the universe of your filth! Why don't you just *die*?
Dalek: [evenly] You would make a good Dalek.

Dalek: Why do we survive?
The Doctor: I don't know.
Dalek: I am the last of the Daleks.
The Doctor: You're not even that. Rose did more than regenerate you. You've absorbed her DNA. You're mutating.
Dalek: Into what?
The Doctor: Something new. I'm sorry.
Rose Tyler: Isn't that better?
The Doctor: Not for a Dalek.
Dalek: I can feel. So many ideas. So much darkness. Rose, give me orders. Order me to die.
Rose Tyler: I can't do that.
Dalek: This is not life. This is sickness. I shall not be like you. Order my destruction! Obey! *Obey*! O-BEY!
Rose Tyler: Do it.
[the Dalek self destructs]

Dalek: [scared] Keep back!
The Doctor: [the Doctor confronts the Dalek] What for? What're you going to do to me? Because if you can't kill, then what are you good for... Dalek? What's the point of you? You're nothing! What are you doing here? What the hell are you here for?
Dalek: I am waiting for orders.
The Doctor: What does that mean?
Dalek: I am a solider, I was bred to receive orders.
The Doctor: Well, you're never going to get any. Not ever.
Dalek: I DEMAND ORDERS!
The Doctor: Well they're never gonna *come*! Your race is dead! You all burned, all of you. Ten million ships on fire. The entire Dalek race, wiped out in one second.
Dalek: You lie!
The Doctor: I watched it happen. I *made* it happen!
Dalek: You destroyed us?
The Doctor: [the Doctor walks away from the Dalek] I had no other choice.
Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?
The Doctor: [pause] Dead. They burnt with you. The end of the last great Time War. Everyone lost.

The Doctor: [after the Dalek exterminates Rose] They've killed her.
Henry van Statten: I'm sorry.

The Doctor: [the Doctor believes Rose has been killed by the Dalek] I could have killed that Dalek in its cell. But you stopped me.
Henry van Statten: It was the prize of my collection!
The Doctor: Your collection? Well, was it worth it? Worth all those men's deaths? Worth Rose? Let me tell you something, Van Statten, mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater.
Henry van Statten: Exactly! I wanted to touch the stars!
The Doctor: You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground beneath tons of sand and dirt and label them. You're about as far from the stars as you can get. And you took her down with you.

Dalek: I fed off the DNA of Rose Tyler. Extrapolating the biomass of a time traveller regenerated me.
The Doctor: What's your next trick?
Dalek: I have been searching for the Daleks.
The Doctor: Yeah, I saw. Downloading the Internet. What did you find?
Dalek: I scanned your satellites and radio telescopes.
The Doctor: And?
Dalek: Nothing. *Where shall I get my orders now*?

The Doctor: If the Dalek gets out, it'll murder every living creature. That's all it needs.
Henry van Statten: But why would it do that?
The Doctor: Because it honestly believes they should die. Human beings are different and anything different is wrong. It's the ultimate in racial cleansing. And you, Van Statten, you've let it loose!

The Doctor: So that's your secret. You don't just collect this stuff, you scavenge it.
Henry van Statten: This technology has been falling to Earth for centuries. All it took was the right mind to use it properly. Oh, the advances I've made from alien junk. You have no idea, Doctor. Broadband? Roswell. Just last year, my scientists cultivated bacteria from the Russian crater and do you know what we found? The cure for the common cold. Kept it strictly within the laboratory, of course. No need to get people excited. Why sell one cure when I can sell a thousand palliatives?
The Doctor: Do you know what a Dalek is, Van Statten? A Dalek is honest. It does what it was born to do for the survival of its species. That creature in your dungeon is better than you.
Henry van Statten: In that case I would be true to myself and continue.

Diana Goddard: [about the Dalek] It's been on Earth for over fifty years. Sold at private auction, moving from one collection to another. Why would it be a threat now?
The Doctor: Because I'm here.

The Doctor: So you're just about an expert in everything, except the things in your museum. Anything you don't understand, you lock up.
Henry van Statten: And you claim greater knowledge?
The Doctor: I don't need to make claims. I know how good I am.
Henry van Statten: And yet I captured you. Right next to the Cage. What were you doing down there?
The Doctor: You tell me.
Henry van Statten: The Cage contains my one living specimen.
The Doctor: And what's that?
Henry van Statten: Like you don't know.
The Doctor: Show me.
Henry van Statten: You wanna see it?
Rose Tyler: Blimey, you can smell the testosterone.

The Doctor: [about the Dalek] What's it doing?

Henry van Statten: Who exactly are you?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor and who are you?
Henry van Statten: Like you don't know. We're hidden away with the most valuable collection of extraterrestrial artifacts in the world and you just stumbled in by mistake?
The Doctor: Pretty much sums me up, yeah.
Henry van Statten: Question is, how did you get in? Fifty-three floors down, with your little cat-burglar accomplice. Quite a collector yourself. She's rather pretty.
Rose Tyler: She's gonna smack you if you keep calling her 'she'.

Dalek: Then I shall follow the Primary Order. The Dalek Instinct. To destroy. To conquer!
The Doctor: What for? What's the point? Don't you see, it's all gone, everything you were, everything you stood for.

The Doctor: [referring to alien object Henry van Statten is holding] I really wouldn't hold it like that.
Diana Goddard: Shut it.
The Doctor: Really though, that's wrong
Adam Mitchell: Is it dangerous?
The Doctor: No, it just looks silly

The Doctor: It knows I'm here. It's going to get out. Van Statten! I swear, no one on this base is safe! No one on this planet!

The Doctor: Listen! That thing down there is going to kill every last one of us!

The Doctor: Rose, get out of the way now!
Rose Tyler: No! Cause I won't let you do this.
The Doctor: That thing killed hundreds of people.
Rose Tyler: It's not the one pointing the gun at me.
The Doctor: I've got to do this, I've got to end it. The Dalek's destroyed my home, my people. I've got nothing left.
Rose Tyler: Look at it.

The Doctor: [about the Time War] I win! How about that?

The Doctor: It's not just energy. That Dalek just absorbed the entire Internet. It knows everything.

[the Doctor and Rose come across the head of a Cyberman in Van Statten's museum]
The Doctor: Oh, look at you!
Rose Tyler: What is it?
The Doctor: An old friend of mine, well... enemy. The stuff of nightmares, reduced to an exhibit. I'm getting old.

[the Doctor is being introduced to an unknown alien that Van Statten has christened "The Metaltron" which he keeps in a darkened cell]
The Doctor: Look, I'm sorry about this. Mr. Van Statten might think he's clever but never mind him. I'm here to help. I'm called The Doctor.
Metaltron: Doc-tor?
The Doctor: [shocked] Impossible!
Metaltron: *The* Doctor?
[the lights come up, revealing the alien to be a Dalek]
Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate!
The Doctor: Let me out!
Dalek: EXTERMINATE!
Diana Goddard: Sir, it's gonna kill him!
Henry Van Statten: It's talking!
Dalek: You are an enemy of the Daleks, you must be destroyed!

[a Dalek is loose in an underground base]
Henry Van Statten: I thought you were the great expert, Doctor, if you're so impressive, why not just reason with this Dalek? It must be willing to negotiate, there must be something that it needs, everything needs something.
The Doctor: What's the nearest town?
Henry Van Statten: Salt Lake City.
The Doctor: Population?
Henry Van Statten: One million.
The Doctor: All dead. If the Dalek gets out it'll murder every living creature that's all it needs.
Henry Van Statten: But why would it do that?
The Doctor: Because it honestly believes they should die. Human beings are different, and anything different is wrong. It's the ultimate in racial clensing, and you van Statten, You've let it loose!

The Doctor: [rummaging through some alien weapons] Broken... broken... hair dryer...

[the Doctor is killing the last Dalek]
Dalek: Have pity!
The Doctor: Why should I? You never did.

The Doctor: How did it get to earth? Does anyone know?
Diana Goddard: Records say it came from the sky like a meteorite. It fell to earth on the Ascension islands, burned in its crater for three days before anyone could get near it and all that time it was screaming. It must have gone insane.
The Doctor: It must have fallen through time, the only survivor.
Diana Goddard: You talked about a war?
The Doctor: The Time War, the final battle between my people and the Dalek race.
Henry Van Statten: But you survived too.
The Doctor: Not by choice.

Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! You are an enemy of the daleks! You must be destroyed!
[it points the gun. Nothing happens]
The Doctor: It's not working!
[laughs]
The Doctor: Fantastic. Fantastic! Look at you. Powerless. The great space dust bin! How does it feel?

Henry Van Statten: The vault is sealed.
The Doctor: Rose, where are you? Rose? Did you make it?
Rose Tyler: [still inside] Sorry, I was a bit slow.
[the Dalek pursuing her approaches]
Rose Tyler: It's the end, Doctor. But it's not your fault... And you know what? I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

---

"Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace (#2.4)" (2006)

The Doctor: Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
Mickey Smith: What's that?
The Doctor: No idea, I just made it up. Didn't want to say "Magic Door"

Manservant: Who the hell are you?
The Doctor: [laughing] I'm The Doctor. And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

The Doctor: [quite and confused] Poisson?...
[shocked and excited]
The Doctor: No, no, no way, Reinette Poisson? Later Madame D'Etoiles, later still mistress of Louis the XV, uncrowned Queen of French? Actress, artist, musician, dancer, coustesan. Fantastis Gardener!
French Servant: Who the hell are you?
The Doctor: [triumphant] I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

The Doctor: [the Doctor arrives back on the ship to find himself alone] Rose?... Mickey? Every time - every time! It's rule one: don't wander off! I tell them I do, rule one! There could be anything on this ship!
[he turns a corner and comes face-to-face with a horse]

Young Reinette: Monsieur, be careful!
The Doctor: It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry, everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares!
Young Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The Doctor: Me!

The Doctor: Oh, you are beautiful! No really, you are, you're gorgeous! Space-age clockwork, I love it, I've got chills! Listen, I mean this from the heart- and by the way, count those- it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you. But that won't stop me.

Rose Tyler: Who is she?
The Doctor: Jeanne-Antionette Poisson, known to her friends as Reinette. One of the most accomplished women who ever lived.
Rose Tyler: Has she got plans on being the queen, then?
The Doctor: No, he's already got a queen. She's got plans on being his mistress.
Rose Tyler: Oh, I get it. Camilla!

The Doctor: Rose, take Arthur, follow it. Don't approach it, just go, go, go!
Rose Tyler: Arthur?
The Doctor: Good name for a horse.
Rose Tyler: No, you're not keeping the horse.
The Doctor: I let you keep Mickey!

The Doctor: Go! and take Arthur!
Rose Tyler: Arthur?
The Doctor: Fine name for a horse.
Rose Tyler: No you can't keep the horse.
The Doctor: Why not? I let you keep Mickey! Now go!

The Doctor: [drunk] Have you met the French? My God they know how to party!
Rose Tyler: Oh look at what the cat dragged in, the oncoming storm.
The Doctor: You sound just like your mother.
Rose Tyler: What have you been doing? Where have you been?
The Doctor: Well, among other things, I *think* I may have just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early.

The Doctor: [drunk and talking to a robot] It's you! You're my favourite! You are the best, you know why? Cause you're so thick! You're mister thick thickity thick face from thicktown thickannia. And so is your Dad!

Rose Tyler: No! You're not keeping the horse!
The Doctor: Why not? I let you keep Mickey!

The Doctor: What was it you said the flight deck smelled of?
Rose Tyler: Cooking.
The Doctor: Human flesh plus heat. Barbecue.

Reinette Poisson: Fireplace Man, you are inside my mind.
The Doctor: Oh dear, Reinette. You've had some cowboys in here.

The Doctor: [the Doctor is searching through Reinette's memories] Sorry, you might find old memories reawakening, side effect.
Reinette Poisson: Oh, such a lonely childhood!
The Doctor: It'll pass.
Reinette Poisson: Oh, Doctor, so lonely, so very very alone!
The Doctor: What do mean, lonely? You've never been alone in your whole life- wait a minute, when did you start calling me Doctor?
Reinette Poisson: Such a lonely little boy. Lonely then and lonier now! How can you bear it?
The Doctor: How did you do that?
Reinette Poisson: A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction. Oh, Doctor, my lonely Doctor... dance with me.
The Doctor: I can't.
Reinette Poisson: Dance with me.
The Doctor: This is the night you dance with the king.
Reinette Poisson: Then first I shall make him jealous.
The Doctor: I can't.
Reinette Poisson: Doctor. Doctor who? It's more than just a secret, isn't it.
The Doctor: What did you see?
Reinette Poisson: That there comes a time, Timelord, when every lonely little boy must learn how to dance!

Rose Tyler: [the Doctor enters, singing "I Could Have Danced All Night", seemingly drunk] Oh, look what the cat dragged in, the oncoming storm.
The Doctor: Oh, you sound just like your mother.
Rose Tyler: What have you been doing, where've you been?
The Doctor: Well, among other things, I *think* I just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. Do you know they'd never seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose, bananas are good.
[to the droid]
The Doctor: Oh, brilliant, it's you! You're my favorite, you are, you are the best, you know why? Cause you're so thick! You're Mr. Thick Thick Thickety Thick-face from Thick-town, Thickania. And so's your dad!

King Louis: What the hell is going on?
Reinette Poisson: Oh. This is my lover, the king of France.
The Doctor: Yeah? Well I'm the Lord of Time.

The Doctor: [coming back to a different time] Reinette... well, goodness how you've grown.
Madame Du Pompadour: And you don't appear to have aged a single day. I think that is tremendously impolite of you.

Mickey Smith: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's Pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

Rose Tyler: [about Madame De Pompadour] The Queen must've loved her.
The Doctor: Oh, she did. They got on very well.
Mickey Smith: The King's wife and the King's girlfriend?
The Doctor: France. It's a different planet.

The Doctor: [drunkenly] You're so thick you probably think this is a glass of wine.
The Doctor: [pours "wine" over robot who stops moving]
The Doctor: Multi-Grade Anti-Oil! "If it moves, it doesn't!"

Madame Du Pompadour: You seem to be flesh and blood but this is absurd. Reason tells me you cannot be real
The Doctor: Oh, you don't want to listen to reason.

Mickey Smith: It's a spaceship! Brilliant, I got a spaceship on my first go!
Rose Tyler: Looks kind of abandoned. Anyone on board?
The Doctor: Nah, nothing here. Well, nothing dangerous. Well, not that dangerous. Know what, I'll just have a quick scan... in case there's anything dangerous.

The Doctor: [hears ticking noise and sees broken clock] Okay that's scary.
Young Reinette: You're scared of a broken clock?
The Doctor: Just a bit scared, yeah. Just a tiny bit. 'Cause you see, if this clock's broken, and it's the only one in the room, than what's that?

Rose Tyler: You all right?
The Doctor: I'm always all right.

The Doctor: [wandering in singing, glass in hand] I could have *spread my wings* and done a thou-have you *met* the French? My... *GOD*, they know how to party.
Rose Tyler: Oh, look what the cat dragged in, the Oncoming Storm.
The Doctor: Ooh, you sound just like your mother.
Rose Tyler: What have you been doing all this time? Where've you *been*?
The Doctor: Well, among other things, I *think* I might have just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early. Do you know, they'd never even seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.
[turning to the robot]
The Doctor: Oh, it's you! You're my favorite, you are. You know why? Cause you're so... thick! You're Mr. Thick Thick Thickety Thickface from Thicktown, Thickania.
[turns to walk away]
The Doctor: And so's your dad!
The Doctor: [gives Rose a look as if to say 'I showed him, didn't I?' or 'How do you like them apples?']

The Doctor: No, tonight is the Uterary Ball. Tonight you dance with the king!
Reinette Poisson: [with suppressed glee] Then first I shall make him jealous.

Mickey Smith: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

The Doctor: Reinette, what age are you?
Reinette Poisson: So impertinent a question so early in the conversation! How promising.

---

"Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks: Part 1 (#25.1)" (1988)

Group-Captain Gilmore: What am I dealing with? Little green men?
The Doctor: No, little green blobs in bonded polycarbide armor.

Ace: These Dayleks...
The Doctor: Daleks.
Ace: Oh, Daleks. Where are they from?
The Doctor: From Skaro. At least originally. They're the mutated remains of a species called the Kaleds. Left here.
Ace: When were they left here?
The Doctor: No! Turn left here.
Ace: Oh, right.
The Doctor: No, left! You've missed the turning!
Ace: What turn, where?
The Doctor: Why don't you concentrate on where you're going?
Ace: Well, I'm doing the best I can. If you don't like it, you drive!

Ace: Professor, I'm hungry! Lack of food makes me hungry, you know.
The Doctor: Lack of food makes you obstreperous!

The Doctor: Listen to me, Brigadier!
Group-Captain Gilmore: Group-Captain! Group-Captain Gilmore!

Ace: Doctor, we did good, didn't we?
The Doctor: Perhaps. Time will tell... It always does.

The Doctor: Dalek! You have been defeated. Surrender! You have failed. Your forces are destroyed, your home planet a burnt cinder circling a dead sun. Even Davros, your creator, is dead! You have no superiors, no inferiors, no reinforcements, no hope, no rescue! You're trapped, a trillion miles and a thousand years from a disintegrated home. I have defeated you. You no longer serve any purpose.

[after the Supreme Dalek has self destructed]
The Doctor: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

[the doctor is locked in a basement with a dalek]
The Doctor: Ace! Open the door! Ace, op...
[he turns and sees the dalek is levitating up the stairs]
Dalek: You are the doctor! You are the enemy of the daleks! You will be exterminated. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Davros: In the end you are merely another time lord!
The Doctor: Oh, Davros. I am far more than just another time lord.

Davros: Have pity on me!
The Doctor: I have pity FOR you.
Davros: Pity?
The Doctor: Goodbye Davros, it hasn't been pleasant.

Ace: So does that mean no more Daleks will come?
The Doctor: It'll slow them down a bit, until the operator gets back.
Ace: Operator?
The Doctor: Yes, the Daleks always keep an operator on stand-by if there are any errors.
Ace: And that would be another Dalek.
The Doctor: [pause] Yes.
[a Dalek appears]
Dalek: Stay where you are! Do not move!

The Doctor: Davros. I might have known. I see you've shunned the last vestiges of your humanity. Still no improvement.

The Doctor: Oi, Dalek! It's me, the Doctor! What's the matter, don't you recognise your mortal enemy?

The Doctor: Daleks are such boring conversationalists.

Group-Captain Gilmore: Nothing even remotely human could have survived that.
The Seventh Doctor: That's exactly the point Group-Captain. It's not even remotely human!

Ace: What are you looking for?
The Doctor: The unknown.
Ace: Oh right. But hold on, isn't that dangerous?
The Doctor: Yes. But then again if I already knew what was here, I wouldn't be looking for it.

The Doctor: Every great decision creates ripples, like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge, rebound off the banks in unforseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences.
John: Life's like dat. Best ting is just to get on wid it.

The Doctor: Typical human, you can always count on them to mess things up.

The Doctor: Weapons. Always useless in the end.

The Doctor: You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies.

The Doctor: You know, your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity in trying to destroy itself.

The Seventh Doctor: This is the Doctor. President elect of the high council of Timelords, keeper of the legacy of Rassilon, defender of the laws of time, protector of Gallifrey. I call upon you to surrender the hand of Omega and return to your customary time and place.

The Seventh Doctor: [the Doctor is knelt coughing on the ground having blown up a Dalek with some nitro-9 explosive. The fuse had a shorter time on it than Ace told him] Ace! You said ten seconds.
Ace: Nobody's perfect Professor.

[referring back to Ace's earlier, rather transparent denial of packing Nitro-9]
The Seventh Doctor: Ace, give me some of that Nitro-9 you're not carrying.

[a Dalek ship lands outside the school, after the Doctor has just assured everyone that it wouldn't]
The Doctor: I think I might have miscalculated.

Davros: We shall become all...
The Doctor: [Interupting] Powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! Unimaginable power! Unlimited rice pudding! Et cetera! Et cetera!

---

"Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances (#1.10)" (2005)

Rose Tyler: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!
The Doctor: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?
Rose Tyler: What?

The Doctor: [finishes locking the door with his Sonic screwdriver] Ok, that door should hold it for a bit.
Captain Jack Harkness: The Door. The wall didn't stop it!
The Doctor: Well it's got to find us first! Come on, we're not done yet! Assets, assets!
Captain Jack Harkness: Well, I've got a banana and, in a pinch, you could put up some shelves.
The Doctor: Window?
Captain Jack Harkness: Barred. Sheer drop outside. Seven storeys.
Captain Jack Harkness: [sits in a wheel chair]
Rose Tyler: And no other exits.
Captain Jack Harkness: Well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?

Rose Tyler: Okay, so he's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the GREAT looking ones who do that?
The Doctor: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.
Rose Tyler: I mean... men.
The Doctor: Okay, thanks, that really helps!

The Doctor: I've travelled with a lot of people, but you're setting new records for jeopardy friendly.

The Doctor: Hanging from a rope, thousands of feet above London, not a cut, not a bruise.
Rose Tyler: Yeah, I know. Captain Jack fixed me up.
The Doctor: Oh, we're calling him Captain Jack now, are we?
Rose Tyler: Well, his name's Jack and he's a captain.
The Doctor: He's not really a captain, Rose.
Rose Tyler: Do you know what I think? I think you're experiencing 'Captain Envy'. You'll find your feet at the end of your legs. You may care to move them.
The Doctor: If ever he was a captain, he's been defrocked.
Rose Tyler: Yeah? Shame I missed that!
[the Doctor and Rose have been teleported to Jack's ship]
Captain Jack Harkness: Actually, I quit. Nobody takes my frock! Most people notice when they've been teleported. You guys are so sweet!

Captain Jack: Make yourself comfortable. Carry on with whatever it was you were... doing.
The Doctor: We were talking about dancing.
Captain Jack: It didn't look like talking.
Rose Tyler: It didn't feel like dancing.

Captain Jack Harkness: [refering to the banana that he tosses back to the Doctor] Nice switch.
The Doctor: [catches banana; holds it up as he speaks] It's from the groves of Villengard, thought it was appropriate.
Captain Jack Harkness: There's really a banana grove in the heart of Villengard? And you did that?
The Doctor: [semi-shrug; waving the banana proudly] Bananas are good.

Captain Jack Harkness: Okay, this can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and a triple-fold sonic disruptor. Doc, what you got?
The Doctor: I've got a sonic, er, never mind.
Captain Jack Harkness: What?
The Doctor: It's sonic, okay, let's leave it at that.
Captain Jack Harkness: Disruptor? Cannon? What?
The Doctor: It's sonic, totally sonic. I am soniced up!
Captain Jack Harkness: A sonic what?
The Doctor: Screwdriver!
[the boy and other gasmask creatures come towards them]
Rose Tyler: [grabs Jack's Sonic Blaster and points it at the ground] Going down!
[floor vanishes beneath them and they land in the room below]

Captain Jack Harkness: [stands after ceiling is repaired] Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Rose Tyler: [ignores them] Lights.
[starts to move around the room, looking for a switch]
Captain Jack Harkness: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic."?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored?
Rose Tyler: [still searching the room] There's got to be a light switch.
The Doctor: Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
Mask Creatures: [Rose finds the lights; turns them on to find the room filled with gasmask creatures; all start chanting] Mummy?Mummy!
Captain Jack Harkness: Door.
[all 3 run towards it]

[last lines]
Rose Tyler: Actually, Doctor, I thought Jack might like this dance.
The Doctor: I'm sure he would, Rose, I'm absolutely certain. But who with?
[she laughs, and steps forward to dance with the Doctor]

The Doctor: What's life. Life's easy. A quirk of matter. Nature's way of keeping meat fresh. Nothing to a nanogene.

Rose Tyler: Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?
The Doctor: Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't want to boast.

The Doctor: [having secretly switched Jack's Sonic Blaster with a banana, he now uses it to create a hole in the wall for their escape] Go, now, don't drop the banana!
Captain Jack Harkness: Why not?
The Doctor: [as if vitally important] Good source of potassium!

The Doctor: There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy. And this little boy can.

The Doctor: Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once, everybody lives!

The Doctor: Who am I to argue with history?
Rose Tyler: Usually the first in line.

The Doctor: [identifying Jack's weapon] Sonic Blaster. Fifty-first century. Weapons factory at Villengard?
Captain Jack Harkness: You've been to the factories?
The Doctor: Once.
Captain Jack Harkness: Well, they're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporized the lot.
The Doctor: Like I said. Once.
[looking over at Rose; matter-of-factly]
The Doctor: There's a banana grove there now.
[looks at Jack; smiling]
The Doctor: I like bananas. Bananas are good.

[when asked by Rose to dance]
The Doctor: Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete...

Captain Jack: [about The TARDIS] Much bigger on the inside.
The Doctor: You'd better be.
Rose: I think what the Doctor's trying to say is - you may cut in.

The Doctor: [to Captain Jack] Close the door, will you? Your ship's about to blow up - there's gonna be a draught.

Rose Tyler: Are the words 'distract the guard' heading in my general direction?
The Doctor: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Rose Tyler: Don't worry. I can handle it.
Captain Jack Harkness: I've gotten to know Algy quite well since I've been in town. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up.
The Doctor: Relax. He's a fifty-first century guy. He's just a bit more flexible when it comes to 'dancing'.
Rose Tyler: How flexible?
The Doctor: Well, by his time, you lot are spread out across half the galaxy.
Rose Tyler: Meaning?
The Doctor: So many species, so little time.
Rose Tyler: What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life and...
[weakly]
Rose Tyler: and...
The Doctor: [nodding] Dance.
[smiles at his clever pun]

[first lines]
Mask Creatures: [with increasing intensity] Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy.
The Doctor: Go to your room.
[mask creatures stop]
The Doctor: Go to your room! I mean it. I am very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross. Go... To... Your... Room!
[mask creatures turn and go back to their beds]
The Doctor: [sighing] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

The Doctor: Funny little human brains... How do you get around in those things?
Rose Tyler: When he's stressed, he likes to insult species.
The Doctor: Rose, I'm thinking.
Rose Tyler: Cuts himself shaving, does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than.

The Doctor: [on Jack] So, where'd you pick this one up, then?
Rose: Doctor...
Captain Jack: She was hanging from a barrage balloon, I had an invisible spaceship.
[smiling]
Captain Jack: I never stood a chance.
[Rose slowly smiles, obviously flattered]

---

"Doctor Who: The Long Game (#1.7)" (2005)

[thanks to Adam, he and Rose are about to die]
The Doctor: You and your boyfriends.

The Doctor: [to Adam] The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book. You've got to throw yourself in, eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers - or is that just me? Stop asking questions. Go and do it!
[to Rose]
The Doctor: Off you go then. Your first date.

Rose Tyler: I'll let the Doctor describe it.
The Doctor: The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. Planet Earth is at its height, covered with megacities, five moons, population 96 billion, the centre of a galactic domain that stretches across a million planets and species.
[Adam faints]
The Doctor: He's your boyfriend.
Rose Tyler: Not any more.

The Editor: It may interest you to know that this isn't actually the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It's merely a place where humans happen to live...
[a loud alien growling interrupts]
The Editor: Sorry... It's a place where humans are allowed to live by kind permission of my cilent.
[the Editor points upwards. Rose and The Doctor look up to see a gigantic mass on the ceiling, which screams, showing large pointed teeth]
Rose Tyler: What is that?
The Doctor: You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?
The Editor: 'That thing', as you put it, is in charge of the human race. For almost a hundred years, mankind has been shaped and guided, his knowledge and ambitions strictly controlled by its broadcast news, edited by my superior, your master and humanity's guid